


Bad Liar

by Safepassageonyourtravels



Category: Bellamy Blake - Fandom, Bellarke - Fandom, Clarke Griffin - Fandom, The 100
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 21:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12284559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safepassageonyourtravels/pseuds/Safepassageonyourtravels
Summary: Clarke Griffin is forced to move in with her Mom's new Boyfriend and his family only two short years after her own fathers death. How will she deal with sharing a bathroom with a overzealous new sister and a brother who doesn't seem to own a shirt?Bellarke AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also seen on Wattpad!   
> Follow me on Instagram for more!   
> @harpermcintired

Clarke sat with her arms crossed tightly against her tank top covered chest, heels of her feet pressed into the dashboard of the U-Haul her and her mother had rented. "Can you at least try to be positive?" Her mother, Abby, said glancing over to the passenger seat. The 'Welcome To Stanford' sign passing by the window of the compacted cabin truck. Clarke stayed silent and pushed in her second earbud, blocking out the pestering voice of her nagging mother. When Abby catches this from the corner of her eye, she puts out her hand, palm up after ripping at the coiled earphones. "Hand it over." 

Clarke scoffs, grinding her teeth tightly. "Ya right!" 

"Clarke Elizabeth Griffin. Now." Abby says sternly, one hand on the wheel while the other sits in front of her daughter. She doesn't have to look at her mom to know she's giving her the eyes. The ones all parents give when they're unimpressed or disappointed with their offsprings actions. 

Resentfully, Clarke slams her iPhone into her moms hand letting out a soft grunt. "Take me away from my friends and all communication, sounds fair." She huffs. "You took me away from Lexa. You might as well lock me in prison."

For as long as Clarke could remember she lived in the same city on the same street in the same house. She went to the same school with the same people and everything was comfortable. Until two years ago, when her father died in a car accident. Clarke was actually in the car with him, with the music loud and they were singing along to some Cold Play song that she doesn't care to think about. She actually remembers the exact lyric, but suppresses the feeling into her stomach every time she hears it. 

For some reason I can't explain   
Once you'd gone there was never   
Never an honest word   
And that was when I---

And then it happened. A crash, a scream, vision gone black. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in a scratchy hospital gown in a gurney with a hose shooting cold 02 up her nose. He was already gone. Died instantly. But she couldn't help but wonder if that was true. Maybe he endured enough pain for the both of them. She came out with a few scratches, a minor concussion and a fractured arm, but that was it. Doctors said they hadn't seen something so... complex. Even Abby, one of the best surgeons in California had no explanation for her minor injuries. Clarke should've died alongside her father, especially when both their heads hit the windshield unforgivingly. Glass crumbling like confetti around their bodies. All she knew was that there was a guardian angel looking out for her. 

To leave the house she grew up in, was not something Clarke wanted, or even expected. She despised the idea of leaving, and the moment her mom put the house up for sale her heart shattered into a million little pieces. She would no longer be able to sit in his study, the arm chair that he once spent hours in, wrapped in her favourite blanket. She was no long able to line her fingers along the books that he cherished for so long. There would be no more sitting in front of the fireplace, hot chocolate in hand, just like she used to on nights she couldn't sleep, father by her side. The memories she had were no longer around every corner. Instead, they were were hid in the crevices of her mind, tucked away to be forgotten until a rainy day. 

"It's not like we're moving out of state, or even across the state." Abby huffed, she knew this was hard on Clarke, leaving everything she knew, but she figured it would help her. Maybe find herself in an unknown environment, no longer settling for what was comfortable. After her husband died, her relationship with her daughter shrunk into a thin coating of 'I love you's and 'good night's. It was three and a half weeks before Clarke's sixteenth birthday, little did she know she would never be the same. Clarke became isolated in her own little bubble made of only silence and charcoal. She lost herself in her art pieces with smudged paper and dusty fingers. Lexa, however, broke her cover. Somehow tapped into the mystery that was Clarke Griffin. She was the first person, since her dad died to hear everything Clarke had to say. They had only been dating for a few months, but Clarke was already slowly coming out of her shell she had become so fond of. Lexa got her out to field hockey games and fencing matches and even a few parties. But now, none of that mattered anymore. The one place she felt safe was once again ripped from her hands like it was something she stole. "It's a fourty minute drive." 

Clarke rolled her eyes, placing her feet back onto the ground and turning to face her mother. "You don't get it, you're not even trying to get it." Anger rises in her voice but it's only covering the hurt that's buried so deeply inside. "You're making me leave my senior year of high school, my friends, my girlfriend." Abby stayed silent, letting Clarke vent out her frustration before they arrived to their destination, not wanting to be embarrassed in front of her fiancé and his kids. "I love Lexa, mom. Now, I'm never going to see her again." 

"You'll see her again." Abby piped up, glancing over quickly to Clarke. Her daughter has tears in her eyes, soft and blue that reminded her strangely of her fathers. "There's nights and week ends. You'll see her." 

Clarke lets out a shaky breath. "Lexa is captain of the fencing team and the field hockey team, she hardly had time for me when I was there." Clarke says it fiercely and once it escapes her mouth, only then realizes how true it was. Lexa was always Clarke's priority, but it certainly wasn't always mutual. 

"You deserve someone who puts you first, honey. You're young-" 

"Don't start with that bullshit!" Clarke huffs turning away and staring out the window once again. High way along high way stretching as far as she can see. As if this ride couldn't get any worse. "You're moving in with your boyfriend, you don't know how to put people first. Especially me." 

"Clarke..." Abby sighs, "we're getting married. This is what's best for all of us. You give some, you get some." Clarke turns the nob on the radio so the music is bouncing off the dashboard, her mother's voice getting lost in the mess of some Fifth Harmony song Clarke doesn't know the lyrics to. None the less, more to shut her mother up, she bops her head along anyway. Anything to block out the annoyance and tension, more importantly, any further discussion. 

It only takes another fifteen minutes in the truck to make it to what they would now call home. It's a large house. Nothing overly extravagant but more than what the average person had. A curved driveway along a bed of trees. Similar to what she had back home, but... this was different. Abby pulls up behind her shiny Nissan Pathfinder which Kane hopped out of, dark hair slicked back that made him look like someone off of Criminal Minds. Clarke's shoulders tighten up as she watches her mom slither into Kane's arms and capturing his lips into a kiss. The exact same way she used to kiss her dad. Clarke's heart twisted uneasily. 

Abby waves Clarke out of the U-Haul and dreadfully she agrees. The quicker she gets out of this sticky mess, the quicker she gets into the room she would call hers, and the quicker she can lock the door. Ignoring all of human civilization. "Welcome home, Clarke!" Kane says overly friendly but that only gives Clarke an opportunity to roll her eyes and brush past him. "Octavia's inside. She'll show you your new room!" He calls after her but she's already stolen her phone back from her mom's purse and is making her way inside.

"I'm sorry." Abby sighs, placing her head against Kane's chest. "I don't know why she can't just be grateful. She turns 18 in a few weeks, I could make her pay rent, or quick her out!" 

Kane laughs, pushing a kiss in to Abby's soft wind drawn hair. "She's a teenager. This is a big change, her world is spinning." 

"That's not an excuse to be rude." She looks up into his handsome dark eyes and finds a place that calms her. 

"Give her time." He insisted. "She'll come around eventually." 

When Clarke walks in, a small Dogue de Bordeaux type puppy comes waddling up to her, slurping at her ankles and she's brushing it away. "Get off!" Clarke huffs and a girl with a long dark ponytail placed perfectly in the middle of the back of her head comes rushing in, which Clarke can only assume is Octavia.

"Chewy! Chewy stop! Sorry, we're still training him he's uh, he's still a puppy!" She chimes nervously, scooping the canine and nudging him in the other direction. "I'm Octavia." She extends her hand, a large grin at her and lips that Clarke can't tell if it's sincere or not. She slips the side bangs out of her eyes. "It's nice to meet you, finally, after all this time." She shrugs lightly and she is obviously more than okay with their parents engagement than Clarke is. 

"Clarke." She takes her hand briefly before dropping it and they're standing awkwardly in silence. Octavia can't be much younger than Clarke, but the pip in her voice definitely shows her youth. "I think you're supposed to show me my room?" Clarke mutters, obviously unpleased with the entire situation but Octavia has bright eyes and a wide smile and apologizes for her inconsiderate hospitality. 

Octavia shows Clarke to a room with a large window on the second floor. Light blue curtains are pushed to the side so the sun shines brightly against the dark hardwood. Her bed from home had already been delivered and several of her other items. It feels uncomfortable, disheveled. It was her bed, she knew that, but her dark carved bed frame looked strange against the brilliant white walls. Soon, Kane is knocking at thee door with a box in his hand labeled "CLARKE'S" interrupting her train of thought. "I see you found your room." He smiles, setting the box just inside the doorway near the closet. "What do you think?" 

Clarke shrugs nonchalantly and slightly uncomfortably. "It's fine." 

"You can paint it if you'd like, decorate it any way you want. Octavia, did you show her the balcony?" He suggests, wiping the dust off his hands and into his jeans. 

Octavia finishes showing Clarke around. The house is nice and her room is semi separated from the others which makes her happy. At least giving her a little bit of privacy from the rest of the house. However, Clarke gets the extreme pleasure of sharing a bathroom with the much too chipper teenager. At least, there were two sinks but Clarke could already envision them fighting over the long hot showers that Clarke always liked. Octavia showed her to her own room, proceeding to tell Clarke that her door is open at anytime. Her walls were lined with cheer bows as information was soon found out, she used compete competitively. She had awards and medals sitting on a shelf above her bed. Anything from honour roll and academic achievement to leadership awards. For fifteen years old, she had accomplished more than Clarke ever had and the feeling of intimidation crept softly in Clarke's stomach. This was the daughter Abby had always wanted. Smart and beautiful and friendly. Brains and Bronze. 

All of Clarke's belongings are brought in and she sits in the middle of her bed with a smaller box in front of her. She opens the top and inside sits her dad's old watch, the stuffed bunny he gave her as a child as well as some other small sentimentals. Clarke's phone buzzes in her lap and Lexa's name appears brightly on the screen. A lively smile grows at Clarke's lips as she lets out a soft giggle opening the message. 

All the message says is 'hey' with the black heart emoji in reply to Clarke's 'I miss you already' text message from earlier. She lets out a soft sigh of frustration; Lexa wasn't good at social media or communication at all, really. It always made Clarke so confused, what she meant and if she meant it. She was a great leader but somehow always managed to fall short when it came to personal interactions. 

Clarke sends off a 'I wish you were here' text right as she's called down for dinner. She picks up the lilac coloured bunny and gives it a good squeeze with a kiss to the top of it's head before setting it amongst her pillows and leading herself downstairs.

 

If there are any background ships you'd like to see, leave a comment! They can be crack ships or realistic ones. It doesn't matter to me. I'll give you what you want


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke sulked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The wall was layered with a tiled backwash and the same hardwood floors that matched the rest of the house. Everything was so put together, like some kind of showhome. The walls were laced with art pieces, one thing Clarke could admire. She pushed her toes into the flooring as slid into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Pizza sat in boxes along the table, the savoury smell of heated pineapple and chicken filling her nose. "Kane ordered your favourite." Abby grinned, nerves clearly bearing tightly through her teeth as she gripped at Clarke's unsteady shoulders. 

"Thanks." She mumbled under her breath shrugging her mother away. Abby breathes uneasily, herself. 

Octavia takes a seat beside Clarke as Abby marches into the kitchen. "Chicken and pineapple is your favourite?!" She asked with excitement brewing on her electric eyes. "Mine too. It's always been my favourite. As long as I can remember." Octavia opens the box and licks her lips eagerly. 

"Octavia..." the deep voice that belongs to Kane creeps from around the corner as he gives his daughter a smirk. "Wait for your brother. It's our first night all together, it probably won't happen often." 

Clarke chuckles under her breath that Octavia catches from the corner of her eyes. "Come on, Bellamy doesn't care." 

"I care." He states sliding plates around the table. "Now go tell him to get inside, oh and tell him bring a shirt." Kane rolls his eyes in Abby's direction as she enters the dining area and takes a seat beside him and across from Clarke. She shines her bright doctor smile, it's the one she gives patients when she walks into their room. Clarke knows it to be insincere and impractical. Octavia rises from her seat muttering a bunch of words Clarke doesn't understand as she marches out the back doors and into the pool area. It's the first time Octavia looks like a normal teenager to Clarke. Moody with her lips turned downward. She didn't think she was capable of being anything but happy and optimistic. 

Kane offers Clarke a drink and brings her the desired Diet Coke. Octavia comes crawling in the French doors with a frustrated appearance on her face. "He was in the pool. He's wet." She rolls her eyes. "He's gonna get gross brother bath water all over the floor." 

Clarke snickers at the .... amusing simile Octavia has come up with and has to hide it with her hand. Maybe Octavia wouldn't be half bad after all. "Tell him to dry off." Kane says abruptly, sitting down himself while pouring a glass of wine for both him and Abby. 

"Pretty sure that's implied." Octavia slithers into the chair before reaching for the pizza box again and Kane slaps at her hand. She rolls her eyes again and Clarke wonders if her teenage angst ever gives her a headache. "Where's my rosé?" The smirk at Octavia's lips can't help but steal the show, she obviously knew the answer but said it to get a rise anyway. 

"Right outside with your brother." 

"Gotta get your geography in order, pops." A unfamiliar voice enters the room and when Clarke looks in that same direction she's taken back a moment. It's Bellamy, she recognized him from the pictures her mother had showed her but he looks much different. Older with slightly longer curly hair, long enough to curl around his ears. Not to mention he's shirtless, and every muscle of his abdomen looks like its been traced and outlined pristinely by some unknown God up in the sky. As if he was the greatest art piece of all. It takes Clarke a minute to realize she's been staring... or analyzing... his physique and when she does she looks away quickly, pulling pizza from the box. 

Kane huffs, taking his own slice. "What did I tell you about bringing a shirt?" His voice is half serious and half joking and Clarke's mom is shaking her head chuckling. 

Bellamy steals a slice off of Octavia's plate as he finds a seat at the heat of the table. Octavia kicks him under the table but he doesn't even flinch which makes Clarke bite her tongue. "You said bring a shirt, not wear one." While taking messy bites in one hand, Bellamy tosses a cotton shirt to his father and Kane lets out an exasperated sigh. 

"Of course." 

Dinner goes alright, Clarke is mainly focused on the cell phone in her lap, waiting for a reply from Lexa. Unfortunately, nothing comes. So she sits eating her pizza in silence while Octavia talks about some girl named Gaia from high school. "You're gonna love it, Clarke! I'll make sure of it." Octavia nudges Clarke slightly and she forces a little smile. 

"Going into senior year at a new school and knowing no one except my much too chipper too good to be true new step sister. Sounds like an incredible time if you ask me." The tone in Clarke's voice is rough and unsettling enough to make Octavia slouch in her seat. 

It takes Abby a moment to scold because she so caught off guard. "Clarke!" 

But that doesn't stop her, she's rolling her eyes and scoffing before sipping at her pop. "No one likes high school so don't try to tell me that I'm being unreasonable." 

"Clarke!" Abby says a little louder this time with more scold in her voice. Kane is putting his arm in front of her, stopping her from standing up. Octavia is nibbling at some pizza and avoiding eye contact. Bellamy is sitting back in his chair, with a smirk lined against his lips, cheekily. The moment Clarke sees the look he's giving she's filled more with more adrenaline. 

"It's bullshit." Her voice comes out strong but Clarke can sense the vulnerability in herself. She grinds her teeth tightly, shaking her head. "What is this? A family dinner? Gonna sit around and talk about our feelings? Is that what you want mom?" Everyone sits silent, waiting for her next move. Even Abby is silent and they think for a moment that it's all ended. "Lets sit around a table and talk about our feelings but not actually, let's just pretend. This is all just a game of pretend. Pretend that I wanna be here, pretend that I'm happy, pretend everything is fine." Clarke swallows tightly and she can feel herself on the verge of tears. "But I'm clearly not fine, nothing about this is fine. I don't wanna be here." The last words she says come out like ice and Abby rises to her feet, her lips curled down. The look reads somewhere between disappointment and embarrassment, either way it's equally as bad. 

"Clarke Elizabeth Griffin! To your room, now!" Abby's voice is shaky and Clarke doesn't bother to look at her new forced on family, sitting along the table. 

Clarke forces a ridiculously smile, one that's uneasy and now she's even closer to crying. "Gladly." On the balls of her feet, she turns and stood for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she looks at her mother momentarily. "And congratulations. Finally got the perfect daughter you wanted all those years." Her body language is pointing towards Octavia but Clarke doesn't wait to see any reaction out of any of them. She storms off, shaking her head angrily as she continues on. 

Kane clears his throat, the dinner table and unsettling silence. "O, why don't you go take Chewy for a walk?" She nods and Kane looks to Bellamy. "Bell, do you-" 

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Bellamy chuckles and hops out of his seat, quickly exiting the room. 

Abby looks to Kane, she's got watery eyes and her heart is heavy. She doesn't have to talk for him to know that. Abby and Kane had one of those... one of a kind relationships. They seemed to understand each other without even speaking. It was a gift both of them cherished. They had met one day at the courthouse, several months after Clarke's fathers death. Abby was in court against the drunk driver who caused the accident and Kane was there as a young criminal justice officer on another case. It was one of those weird, would've never met if it hadn't of been for this, kinda moments. Kane had attempted to console a tear stricken Abby in the waiting room and she wanted nothing to do with him. Both of their cases were dismissed for a recess for the same day in the following week. Sure enough, they saw each other again and something just clicked between them. At first it started off strictly as friends, nothing more, nothing less. It was as nice to have someone who understood the courthouse and she found comfort in that. Six months into it, their relationship with went from friends to friends with benefits and soon after that feelings got attached. Two years later, and two weeks before the anniversary of the death, here they were. Engaged and now living together. One big happy family. Or, so they had hoped. "She will come around." Kane soothed, running his hand along her head and pulling her close to his chest. 

Her eyes were quickly dampening his shirt. "I don't understand why she's doing this." Abby's voice was uneasy. 

"She's seventeen years old, almost eighteen. It's nearly the anniversary of her fathers death. She's moving in with a new sister and brother she's never met. This kind of reaction is expected." His voice was calming and understanding and she wonders how he could be so stable in a situation like this. Typical Kane, always knew what to do and say. "Sure, her words hurt, but she's clearly hurting. This isn't easy on her." 

Abby sat up straight and shook her head, sipping at her wine. "I don't understand why she just wouldn't agree to meet Octavia and Bellamy before all of this. What's the big deal? Maybe if she had of agreed it would've been easier." 

"She was in denial. You have to try and see the world from her eyes. Walk a mile in her broken down converse. It's not easy being a kid going through what she's going through." 

"You don't have to take her side." She whispers with an inconsistent sigh.

Kane shrugs. Abby is clearly hurt, and he can see that. But this is the kinda stuff he worked with. This was his specialty. Working with misunderstood, delinquents and helping them find a place in the world. "She'll come around. I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

"You alright?" Bellamy stands in Clarke's doorway. She's lying on her back in the middle of her plush lilac bedspread, staring at the ceiling. Her iPhone spinning in her hands, in between her fingertips like a glider soaring through the sky so fiercely. She doesn't bother to look in Bellamy's direction what so ever. She couldn't be less interested with what he had to offer. 

"Don't know how to knock?" Her voice is bland and dry, practically itching from the back of her throat. Momentarily she stops spinning her phone to check the screen. Still nothing from Lexa. 

Bellamy lets out a light laugh, one of those stupid boy laughs as if they know everything. As if anything you possibly say or did had absolutely zero meaning. Like the whole world revolved exactly around them. Nothing more, nothing less. "Don't know how to close a door?" She looks over and catches his eyes, they're wide and brown and have a smile sparkle in that she catches unknowingly. "You okay?" He asks again, taking a few steps into her room.

His footsteps sound like bricks in the hallow mess of her humble abode. Thankfully, he's wearing a shirt now, and more or less dry. Clarke rises, crossing her feet in front of her and pushes her elbows into her knees. "I'm fine." 

"Says every dramatic teenage girl ever. I have a sister, remember?" 

"Now you got two." Bellamy walks closer into Clarke's room, slouching his hands into the pockets of his swim trunks. They're black with some kind of snake skin pattern that makes Clarke chuckle under her breath softly. 

Bellamy plops down at the edge of her bed, the cushions suddenly becoming a lot less roomy. Her entire room becoming slightly smaller than it was and the breeze coming from the cracked foot of her balcony door sending a light  breeze against her ankles. "Guess I do, don't I, princess?" Bellamy reaches a hand to tussle in her curly blond hair but she dodges him as she squints her eyes. 

"What kind of a name is Bellamy, anyway." She mutters. 

"What kind of a name is Clarke?" The way her name rolls off his tongue so easily makes her furrow her eyebrows lightly. 

"Do you reply to everything with a question?" She pops her bottom jaw, laying her tongue along her top teeth just enough for Bellamy to see. She doesn't know why she's doing it but the thought of provoking any kinda reaction out of him intrigues her. 

Bellamy chuckles briefly and wets his lips. "Do you ever stop asking questions." 

"Touché," Clarke nods and when silence consumed her once again she extends her arm. "Nice to meet you, even under these incredibly shitty circumstances." 

A smile creeps across Bellamy's lips and she recognizes it as a similar one from downstairs. "Really don't wanna be here, do you princess?" Clarke shrugs and her gaze leaves his, now glancing at the empty cellphone screen. "Got a boyfriend?" He asks, sneaking a peak as Clarke opens up the next messages, hovering her fingers over the keyboard like some little UFOs. 

"Girlfriend." Clarke says but doesn't look up to see his reaction. It's good she doesn't, because he's obviously shocked. 

A pretty girl like you, into girls? Hm. Is what he wants to say but instead settles for something more appropriate. Wide brown eyes as he tilts his head back slightly, eyebrows raised. "O-oh! Um, that's great." 

"Yeah. Great if she wasn't so busy all the time and I didn't have to move forty minutes away." 

Bellamy reaches his arm out to take hold of her wrist, and surprisingly, she doesn't rip it away. Instead, she looks to him, curious as to what he has to say. "You deserves someone who puts you first." When Clarke catches his eyes, she realizes he's being sincere. They're soft, suddenly, like he just shed a layer of his arrogant college kid skin. Surprisingly, his swim trunks make a lot more sense now. 

"Funny, my mom said the same thing."

"Maybe your mom isn't so crazy after all." 

And Clarke smiles, softly. So slight, and unsure, but there's enough of it for Bellamy to see and he smiles back. Wow. She thinks. His smile is more of a smirk, and his lips dip into his cheek causing a dimple and she think if she stares too long that he might see. So she focuses her eyes back on his and he's got a softness to them still, that wasn't there at the dinner table. His eyes were much more than just brown. They were so many colours mixed into one that they couldn't decide which colour to take on. So they took on them all. And she sees little glimpses of them, sparkling here and there but then Clarke's phone buzzes from in between her legs and her connection with Bellamy in that moment is shot. 

"It's Lexa." Clarke says, smiling brightly. 

The message reads, :( me too, baby. 

Can we FaceTime tonight? Clarke asks, sending her message almost instantly and Lexa replies quickly with the black heart emoji once again which Clarke takes as a yes. "What's she like?" Bellamy asks and it takes Clarke a moment to realize what he means. "Your girlfriend, what's she like?" 

Clarke wiggles around her shoulders. "Beautiful, crazy passionate, super athletic..." Clarke trails off and pulls up a picture of them from her Instagram, realizing she doesn't have many photos. The more that she thinks about it, she doesn't know much about Lexa other than her surface. Aside from her life as Captain and the most beautiful girl in the world Clarke had put it, she doesn't know much about her. It seems to be cut short of past history and childhood memories. 

Bellamy catches the change in Clarke's aura and this is where he gets uncomfortable. Not used to dealing with emotions. Shifting slightly, not really sure what to say so instead he stands up. "She must be pretty great if she snagged a beautiful girl such as yourself." Bellamy pops a hand back into his pocket when he realized what he's said. Not meaning more than that but worried she might get the wrong impression. Or maybe it is what he meant? She was beautiful. Crazy beautiful. Curly dirty blond hair to the middle of her back and bright blue eyes. The bluest he had ever seen, something he would imagine the Caribbean to look like. 

Clarke tilts her head slightly, squinting her eyes. Did he just call her beautiful? "Thanks?" She says but it comes out as a question and Bellamy smirks again. 

"If you need anything, let me know. Octavia can be a little overbearing. Take her in small doses." And then he shrugs, getting a smug look on his face, the same one he had when he walked into dinner shirtless. 

Clarke nods her head lightly. "Thanks, Bellamy. Ya know, maybe this won't be so bad with you around." She licks her lips, not wanting to say it, but it came out anyway. It was true, he seemed real. Someone she could get along with. 

Bellamy looks down to the ground and lets out a light laugh, his shoulders rising a bit. "Don't get used to it. You're not the only one dreading school." She raised an eyebrow slightly. "College." He confirms. 

Of course, the one person she doesn't hate in this house has somehow managed to escape. "Fun." She clicks her jaw and Bellamy manages a laughs. 

"Here, give me your phone." He reaches out and she hands it to him with no question. Bellamy types his phone number into her phone and hands it back after sending a message to himself so he has her number too. "Text me. Whenever." His smile is pure and kind. 

Clarke pulls a slight smile and bites down at her bottom lip, nodding. He begins to walk away and she reaches out almost to pull him back. "Bellamy." He turns slightly, his feet sliding against the hardwood. "Thanks." 

She stays in her room the rest of the night, hanging her clothes in her closet. Setting up her nightstands, and hanging pictures along her walls with command strips and sticky tack. Clarke awaits for Lexa's facetime but it's like waiting for a train that's out of order. So Clarke calls her instead, waiting (once again) as it rings and it rings. There's no answer. She should've known but instead, just as usual, there's hope. Always trying to find the best and reasons for her excuses. Clarke receives a text message and low and behold. Lexa. 

Hey babe, can't tonight. Busy. Sorry.

Clarke rolls her eyes and her chest becomes heavier. She loved Lexa so fiercely that sometimes it hurt. And right now, was one of those times. She throws her phone to the bed and doesn't bother looking at it again. Her feet lead her to the outside balcony and she's standing against the glass railing watching the sun set. The sky nearly looks like it's on fire, oranges and pinks lighting up and dancing against the clouds. Clarke wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, crossing her arms. A tingle fires in her nose and she knows more tears are coming. She loved Lexa with every part of her. Even though it was five short months, it was the best five months Clarke could remember at this point.  Clarke shared everything she had. The parts of her no one had seen. The hidden cracks that lay so far underneath her surface. The parts she didn't know were there. In this moment, Clarke wants nothing more than Lexa to be right here. To feel her fingertips running along her skin, the touch of her warming Clarke from the insides out. I love you she would say as their lips touched and dragged along each others bodies. Skin running along skin running along skin. 

Clarke finds herself sleeping on the side Lexa usually did. Somehow trying to find her in the sheets, maybe if she moved a certain way she'd find the impression of where her body would lay. But it's useless. And nothing comes of it except for tossing and turning and uneasy breathing. 

You deserve someone who puts you first sticks out in her mind. Trying to find a time Lexa did in fact put her first. Like the time they went for milkshakes after her fencing match to celebrate... In the comfort of the rest of her team. Or the time Clarke was sick and Lexa drove to her house to bring her tea... and in return escaping all responsibilities for the night. Clarke's nose tucked into the crook of Lexa's neck. She smelt like vanilla mixed with the leave in conditioner she used daily. Clarke placing sleepy messy kisses along her shoulder blade while she slept. 

Clarke doesn't get much sleep that night. Her heart uneasy and suddenly second guessing absolutely everything about her relationship with Lexa. What was she doing right now? What could've been more important that Clarke. Isn't your partner supposed to be your other half, your best friend?  There when you need them the most? Clarke just needed to hear her voice. 

So she did what she knew best when she couldn't sleep. Pulled out her sketchbook and charcoal and went to work, lining Lexa's face by memory. Her small nose and her full lips, the ones she loved to kiss so much. Her eyes were always the hardest part, she could never get them right. And just as part of Clarke's overanalyzing she takes this with a heavy heart. Maybe the reason she could find the life in her eyes was because Clarke didn't know them. Clarke had opened her door, why hadn't Lexa? Not even her charcoal, her longest and dearest friend, could help her through this one. So she slams her book shut and tosses it to foot of her bed, flicking off the night lamp beside her. Another restless night. 

Clarke tip toes downstairs to find a midnight snack. If she wasn't going to get any sleep, she might as well not be hungry. So she crept down the stair case, nervous to wake her mother. The last thing Clarke wanted was to see her, and if she did she might just start screaming and crying or the mix of both. When Clarke reaches the kitchen and flicks on the light and to her surprise she sees Bellamy, shirtless of course. He's standing with his back against the island when he's started and jumps. Much to Clarke's surprise there's a girlish scream followed by a giggle and the hushing of Bellamy's voice.

He turns around and his hair is messy and beside him stands a tall girl with dark features in a oversized grey t-shirt. Her cheeks are a rosy red as she avoids eye contact and continues to wedge herself between Bellamy's arm and his side. Long dark hair falling in front of her eyes. "Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt" Clarke whispers, secondhand embarrassed colouring her face a light shade of pink. 

Bellamy kisses the top of the girls head and laughs. "All good.... can't sleep?" Clarke shakes her head. "Perfect. We were just warming up some pizza. Echo, this is Clarke. Clarke, this is Echo, my girlfriend."


	4. Chapter 4

Bellamy and Echo head downstairs, now in the company of Clarke as well. Echo is tall beautiful, stunning actually. And when Clarke sees her in the light she has to hold her breath. Definitely not Clarke's type, but she could totally admire her beauty. Someone confident enough to slouch around in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear was obviously Bellamy's type. After all, he was in nothing but sweatpants himself. Bare chest facing the air conditioning. 

Bellamy practically dominated the basement area. His room was off to the side but that's where the bar was located and Clarke could tell they had both been drinking. Echo pulling a beer from the mini fridge before offering one to Clarke. She denies. "More for me." She grins lazily and the glaze on her yes makes Clarke roll her eyes. 

Bellamy plops on the couch and Echo beside him as she drapes her legs across his lap. Clarke joins in her own arm chair and the tv is playing some old reboots of family feud. An ashtray sits on the glass coffee table, a home rolled white cigarette. Bellamy sees Clarke eying it and chuckles. "You want some?" 

"Of that?" Clarke points and Echo giggles tipsily taking a bite of her warmed up left over pizza. 

"Weed, Clarke. Want some?" Bellamy's voice is much looser than it was earlier if that was possibly. Not only were they drinking they were smoking too. And that's where Clarke pins the dead skunk smell covered with someone's dead grandma's perfume. 

Clarke clicks her teeth together and shakes her head lightly, obviously weighing the situation. She had never tried it, one of those things that some of her friends did but she was always scared and uneasy and worried about what followed. Or more worried she would like it an not be able to stop. Scared of what her mom would say. "Isn't your dad an officer?" 

Bellamy laughs. "He wishes. More like a lawyer for the kids who fuck up real bad." He steels the beer from Echo's hand and takes a sip. She sticks out her bottom lip and begs for it back. "Your girlfriend ever get back to you?" 

Clarke's heart shocks lightly, not expecting those words to come from his mouth. She bites down into her pizza, gummy cheese squishing between her teeth. "Next question," she's breathes out heavy. 

"Ooooo, girl problems? What's her name? Need to get over her? I'm practically a matchmaker." Echo says all with one hazy breath and it takes a minute for Clarke to realize what she's saying. "I've got some serious hot girls from my dorm that are always looking for a good time." She chugs back the rest of her beer before standing and getting another. Just like before, echo falls right into Bellamy, this time placing her lips against his and Bellamy imprints his fingers tightly into her thighs pulling her closer. "Babe!" She squeals, "we've got company." 

"I can leave!" Clarke hops up, overly willingly, kind of over the fact that she's practically watching Bellamy get hard. Was this was a shitty sex tape was like. 

"No! No!" Echo falls beside Bellamy. "We were just getting to know each other!" 

The thing is, Clarke knows Echo would have no interest in knowing her if she wasn't sweating alcohol from her pores and her vision foggy. Clarke was pretty good at reading people and what she had gathered so far was Echo was obviously a party animal, typical young bombshell in her 20s. And Clarke was right. Echo was on a cheerleader on the Stanford Cardinals and spent most, if not all of her time there. Most nights she would sleep at Bellamy's dorm because of the tight schedule that she endured. But since it was summer she was able to hold on to Bellamy a little closer, making more time for him in every way possible. 

Clarke engages in conversation with Echo and she's actually incredibly intelligent, unlike what it seemed. She was in school for biomedical engineering and somehow still had time to breathe. She and Bellamy met at a party freshman year. Echo, the promising age of 18 while Bellamy sat at 20 as he took two years off to find himself in the mix of his own mothers death. Now, in law school himself. Following in his fathers footsteps. The two of them, now casually dating for two years. 

Echo fell asleep with her head in Bellamy's lap. His hand winding through her hair as she slept softly along the couch. Bellamy and Clarke were talking and once Clarke found out he lost his mom, she just couldn't stop. "How are you not mad at your dad for moving on so fast?" Clarke now had a beer in her own hand, half down. Her words coming out easier now and feeling more calm and comfortable. 

Bellamy breathed through his nose harshly. "It wasn't easy. But," he removes his hand from Echo and makes some gesture in the air. "I couldn't do anything about it. Before your mom my dad went on dates, a lot of them actually. Only a year after my mothers death he was on plenty of fish and match.com and all of those stupid dating sites. It just.... well it never worked out. When we lost our mom, we lost our dad too. And the moment, it was like a cue, the moment he left those ridiculous websites, your mom stumbled into the palm of his hands. And I swear Clarke, it was like... well it was like he was himself again."

Clarke nodded slowly, foggily taking in everything Bellamy had to say as her lips sat at the edge of her beer bottle. Sitting cold and slightly moist as the smell of musk circles around her nose. "How long did it take though? How long till he was dating?" 

"A year, same as your mom." 

Clarke shakes her head and sets her beer along the edge of the coffee table. "I just can't imagine moving on so quickly, just like that. So easily." 

"Remember how I said you deserve someone who puts you first? Well, sometimes you need to put yourself first too. Maybe you need to be the person that puts you first." Bellamy glances down to a sleeping Echo and rubs the back of her head. "My dad and your mom, it's no doubt they loved their first partner. But, don't you think everyone deserves to be happy?" 

"Of course!" Clarke takes a heavy breath as she glances around the room. Avoiding Bellamy's eyes. "That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." There's a burning sensation in her nose, the same one she gets when she knows she's going to cry. When a tear spills over, she quickly wipes it away bearing an apology. 

"Hey, don't be sorry." Bellamy wiggles from under Echo and walks near Clarke. She still can't look at him, scared that if she does, she's only going to cry more. She's right. Because Bellamy kneels down beside the chair, and grabs her hand. Her eyes click to his and suddenly she feels a bond with him, one she hasn't felt yet. She has no barrier and suddenly, it's all falling apart. Her chest is rising and falling as salty tears pinch her cheeks a light shade of red. "Hey... hey, don't cry. I've been there." He assures her. "I understand what it's like. I understand the pain. I've been there, I'm still there. I'm still trying to deal with it. Despite popular belief, it's not something that you just... get over. It's not something that you wake up one day and don't care anymore. But everyday you do wake up, it doe get easier. Not a lot, but a little. And piece by piece, day by day, you'll get there Clarke." Bellamy raises his fingers to wipe away the tears that are sitting comfortably under her eyes. His touch is warm and soft and most of all, comforting. 

With a shaky breath, Clarke closes her eyes. "I just don't know what to do. I'm scared that I'll forget him." 

His chest rises and falls. "You won't forget him." Bellamy looks to the clock and it's nearly 4am. "I think maybe you should get some sleep. It's been a long day."

Clarke purses her lips together, one last tear squeezes from her eyes as she blinks. "Every time I go to sleep, it only gets worse, Bellamy." 

It hurts Bellamy to hear that, cause he knows. He's been there. He was only 18 when his mother passed away. It was, sudden. Kind of. One day she went for her yearly check up and the next thing they knew, she was going through chemotherapy and given nothing more than a year to live. Unfortunately, or depending how you look at it, only two months in she had a heart attack in the middle of the night. Just like that, she was gone. No last 'goodbye'. No last 'I love you'. She was just... gone. Because of this, Bellamy fell into a deep hole of depression. He hardly made it out of high school with his diploma. It was impossible for him to grieve the situation he couldn't understand. So he fell into a hole of self hate, misunderstanding and late nights in bed. Just staring at the ceiling. Scared of anything else that were to happen. Scared that when he closed his eyes, the demons that were following him would consume every single part. He would be stuck. Unable to breathe. Then again, sometimes he thought that would be the best thing possible. To just lose himself, lose himself in the mess of all the pain and hurt. 

"It only gets worse if you let it." He's holding on to her hand tightly and rises to his feet, pulling her behind him. He walks her to the stairs and offers his arms for a hug. She takes it, willingly. Ms. Clarke -don't like physical contact- Griffin wrapped her arms around Bellamy, pushing the side of her face against his skin. He's warm, hot even. The alcohol rushing through his body, making his blood pump so heavily. Bellamy rubs her back softly as their hug falls short and she begins to walk up the stairs. "Goodnight, princess." 

A smile peaks at her lips, and she blushes. "Night Bellamy." 

He watches as she creeps along the stairs, dragging one foot behind the other. Once she reaches the top the light flickers off and Bellamy turns to see Echo lying along the couch. Hair falling in front of her eyes and he smirks slightly. Taking long strides over to her, Bellamy picks up her hands and she mumbles sleepy nonsense. "Come on sleepyhead, lets get you to bed." He pulls her up as her eyes flutter open. 

"Babe, I'm not tired." She claims which caused a laugh out of Bellamy. "I'm not ready to sleep!" Her eyes fall shut as soon as she says this and Bellamy takes on her weight, scooping her in both of his arms. Echo's head falls against his shoulder and he can feel her breath against his skin. Bellamy carries her to his bed and plops her down and she lets out a soft giggle. Bellamy presses his lips to her forehead and she wraps her arms around his neck, keeping him close. "Babe, I'm ready for round two." She says, placing small kisses to his lips that stretch out to longer ones. 

Bellamy chuckles, kissing her back, sweetly. "It's late." 

She protests, pulling him down beside her and she crawls on top of him, straddling his hips. Bellamy has his hands on her waist and watches as she removes the t-shirt to reveal her bare body. "Still too late?" She leaned down, brushing her nose against his and he yanks on bedside table drawer, spinning a shiny gold condom package between his fingertips. "That's what i thought."

Upstairs, Clarke lies along her her lilac comforter, thinking about Bellamy. Thinking about how he was able to understand her. Thinking about how he just got it. Everything they talked about just got home for Clarke. They way they both lost a parent, that's not something that just everyone understood. Lexa had lost both of hers at an extremely young age, young enough she went to live with her aunt and uncle. So Lexa just never understood Clarke's pain. She helped her through it, but she didn't understand it. Bellamy, on the other hand, he did understand it. He did get 'it'. For the first time since her dad died, Clarke felt maybe, possibly, understood.


	5. Chapter 5

The days that lead into the next week are a lot... not easier but better. Clarke's talk with Bellamy helped her realize that this was what was happening and she couldn't do anything to change that. So she gave in. Involved herself in dinner and helped wash dishes. Abby was shocked. Didn't say anything, scared to jinx it, just went along with it. Thanked Clarke for her participation as if it was some kind of award. However, the two of them didn't exchange much more than that. Clarke apologized to Octavia but she was already over it. Her bright smile, not as bright but still friendly. "Are you sure? We are good?" 

Octavia nodded. "Of course. This is a big change. Everyone deals with stuff differently. It's not your fault our parents fell in love and we got dragged into it." She shrugs before offering her arms out into a hug. "Honestly, no hard feelings." 

Clarke nods. "Thanks Octavia, for understanding." 

"We're family now, Clarke. We are sisters." The way the words fall off her tongue is like she's practiced them, rehearsed them in them in the mirror. Over and over. Sisters. So strange. Growing up she always wanted a sister, begged her mother and father, even. Maybe that way she would feel less... alone. But she never got it, never had the sibling she prayed for, until now. Only about 10 years too late. "I'm going to the mall with some friends, I don't know if you're up for it, but we would love to have you." 

"I don't know, are you sure?" Clarke asks nervously and Octavia pushes her back. 

"Of course I'm sure, silly! But, could you drive?" Clarke irks an eyebrow. "I don't have my permit yet." She continues. 

Clark rolls her eyes, leaning forward. "Is that all I am to you? A taxi?" The sarcasm is pouring from Clarke's mouth and Octavia buckles over in laughter. 

"Well considering I've missed out on bugging you for the last 15 years, Octavia Blake at your service." 

Clarke changes into jean cut offs and a white lacy tank top before jumping into her mom's pathfinder with Octavia at her side. If there is one thing she learnt from Octavia being in the passenger seat, she gave shitty directions. A mix of 'turn here! No, not here, here!' And 'um I think it's here?' And several curse words following as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. Clarke laughed heavily from behind the wheel, actually, genuinely enjoying Octavia's company.

When they arrived, Octavia was bouncing in her gladiator sandals. "Gaia is super earthy. Vegan and totally into all that hippy shit." Octavia giggles, beginning to paint a picture of her friend group as they head to the food court. "Monroe is a total tomboy, ginger, no soul. All that good stuff. She has a poker face like no other, BradGelina could walk in and she wouldn't even flinch.Fox is honestly my twin. We are practically the same person. Except she's got the hots for Bellamy which is weird and totally gross." Clarke laughs nervously, unwillingly. It just kind of happens. "Harper is badass, girl goes out on the shooting range with her father, honestly, don't wanna mess with her. She's like... the dad of the group?" 

Clarke doesn't quite get the analogy and nods anyway. "Anything else I need to be aware of?"

"Not really. I mean Harper has like a kind of boyfriend, he's totally infatuated with her but she low key wants nothing to do with it. His name is Monty and his best friend Jasper usually tags along as well. They're stoners. Typical seniors." Octavia spots her friends at the usual table across the mall and bounces up and down, waving her arms in the air. "Oh! Yeah and there's Finn. He's a senior, he's so dreamy, Clarke. But hands off, he's mine. We are almost kinda together... not really at all actually but I say give me two weeks once school starts, he'll be drooling at my locker." 

Clarke nods, "I got it. Thanks for the heads up." 

And Octavia is once again pulling Clarke by her wrist, tripping in her converse. "Guys!" She calls, sliding into Fox's chair, the two of them squeezing each other tightly. "This is Clarke." She gestures to Clarke as she sits awkwardly at the table. From what Octavia has told her, she can pretty much figure out who is who. Fox does fit Octavia's description. Very lean, dark hair and bright eyes. Beside her, sits a scrawny kid with lab goggles sitting along his forehead. Beside him, sits a shorter Asian kid. Clarke identifies them as Jasper and Monty. Which only means that beside him, at the end of the table in a leather jacket is Harper. Hair swooped over her shoulder in a braid as she turns to the ginger haired girl, showing something on her phone. Beside them is the last, who is obviously Finn. Dark hair carved his face like some kind of James Dean remake. Sweet caramel eyes that seems to be glued to her from the moment she walked in. 

The group mumbles a 'welcome Clarke' and its not a surprise they're a bunch of teenagers. Chinese food in take out containers are sprawled against the cafeteria styled table while everyone scrolls through their social media feed. "I'm Finn." He puts out his hand and Clarke takes it before quickly glancing to Octavia for approval. She gives her wide eyes as if a 'don't embarrass me, don't ruin this!' 

Clarke knows enough of the game to give a soft smile and look away quickly to prove disinterest though. However, he was attractive. And Clarke could see why Octavia would like him, overly charming and long eyelashes. Even his voice was something from a movie screen. "Ugh you're so lucky!" Fox says sweetly and you could practically see the hearts spinning around her head. "Living with Bellamy must be a dream!" Octavia elbows her best friend in the gut. "He's hot, you guys just have really good genes." 

"Pining after my brother isn't going to help with anything. Not only that, but he's in love with Echo. Gag." Octavia sticks a finger in her mouth making an over exaggerated sound which makes the entire table laugh. 

"You don't like Echo? I met her last night, she seemed nice." Clarke shrugs. 

Octavia rolls her eyes and Jasper mumbles a 'here we go again.' "She's nice, I guess? Plays with my brothers heart a little too much, though. It started off as friends with benefits, a total open relationship..." she trails off, making hand movements before stealing a spring roll from Harper's dish. "Bellamy acts all tough and cool and not into any kind of commitment, but honestly, he's looking for something serious. Someone he can depend on, not just a good time. He could do so much better, it makes me sick honestly." She shakes her head and Fox sits up in her seat shovelling a bite of whatever noodle dish she's been given. 

"This is where I come in." Fox sighs of relief and Octavia rolls her eyes. 

"You haven't even had your first kiss, yet, Fox." Monroe throws a soya sauce packet in her direction but she dodges it. 

Jasper pipes in. "Like you've done more than that, anyway." Monty laughs and Harper gives him a dirty look. 

Finn wraps his arm around Monroe, sticking his fist into her hair, attempting a noggie. "Don't give the little baby a hard time." 

"Back to this whole Echo thing, bell basically told her, I want a relationship or nothing at all. Two weeks later at some college party he caught her making out with some other guy. He freaked, broke up with her, she cried, blah blah blah..." she continues on, sipping at someone's fountain drink. "He took her back almost instantly. She sweared her devotion but honestly, she's probably telling that to seven other guys as well." 

"Does he know?" Clarke asks, totally shocked. She had no assumption of this what so ever when she met her last week. 

Octavia shrugs. "Probably, but he's too infatuated to realize how much he's hurting."

Clarke shakes her head and sighs. Before the conversation can continue any further, Octavia is discussing her timetable with her friends. "What's it like, living with Octavia? As high maintenance as I've imagined?" Finn asks catches Clarke's attention. 

She shrugs, laughing. "Not really. She's actually been really awesome. However, she does play her music a little loud in the morning." 

Finn rolls his eyes. "Sounds about right. That's O for ya." Clarke doesn't mind spending time with Octavia and her friends. They've surprised her actually. Funny, light hearted, and totally accepting. Not at all making Clarke feel weird, except for Finn. He's totally hitting on her, picking at conversation. However, Octavia doesn't even notice. She's too busy drooling over a guy a few tables with Harper and Fox. Clarke, not one to ever turn down a nice pair of eyes, flirts back. Nothing crazy, or dramatic. But it happens, and it's there. Just natural. Nothing forced. 

Later that week, school had started up and Clarke was going slightly crazy. Not because of the people or anything like that. In fact, she was happy with her living arrangement. Abby and Clarke were actually doing really well, giving each other space. They hadn't been doing this well in a long time. Kane was pushing fatherly duties around the house and setting curfew, however it wasn't outrageous. Simple chores, clean up after yourself, alternate between dishes each night, take out the trash. Clarke had no problem with it, actually, she enjoyed the basic run down of it all. She enjoyed the order. There was no confusion, no auguring. It was all good. Dinner time was what Clarke looked forward to. Hearing about everyone's day, and listening to Octavia give her side of the story overly dramatic. After supper, her Bellamy and Octavia took a dip in the pool and proceeded to have a camp fire. It wasn't her home life at all, it was Lexa. 

Clarke saw pictures posted on Instagram of Lexa doing body shots of her ex girlfriend Costia. Completely dumbfounded, Clarke confronted Lexa on the phone. Her chest rising and falling uneasily as breathing became more difficult. "What the hell, Lexa?" Clarke's voice was raised and a lot more stern than she anticipated it would be. "What the hell was that? What happened last night." 

"Babe, look. It was a Friday night party. It meant nothing." Clarke could practically envision her shrugging, blowing Clarke's feelings off once again. 

She scoffed, harshly. "Bullshit, Lexa. Maybe if it was any one but Costia I'd get over it. Your ex girlfriend? Nice try." 

Lexa stayed silent for a moment before continuing. "You're not here, Clarke. I haven't seen you in nearly two weeks. I have to get my need-"

"Don't even finish that sentence." She knew what happened, she didn't have to continue. She just didn't wanna hear the words come out of her mouth so easily. Get her needs met? Like that was an excuse. "Do you wanna make this work out not." 

"Clarke, you know how I feel about you." 

Between the two of them, all that's hanging on the line is their breathing. Clarke, feeling like she should be crying. But instead, her teeth biting so tightly against her bottom lip that she's nearly loosing feeling. She's angry, betrayed. In fact, Clarke tried ending it when she found out she was leaving, but Lexa begged her not to. I need you. She said. We can do this. She said. I love you. She said. But now, Clarke was realizing just how much bullshit that was. "Everything that comes out of your mouth is lies, Its always what's best for Lexa. You didn't even think about me. I can't do this." 

"Clarke..." it was Lexa's voice that hat sounded broken. Like she was the one going to cry. "Don't do this. It was one night, it won't happen again." 

"I don't wanna hear it!" Once again the line is quiet. And it hurts. Really hurts. "Go crying to Costia or whoever for that matter. I don't care. It's over." 

"Clar-" but she didn't give Lexa a chance to finish. Hanging up and falling back on her bed. The blankets making a light 'poof' underneath her. I should've known. She kept telling herself. It was Lexa. She couldn't stop being her. With Clarke close at hand, it was convenient. She never strayed, never thought about it. But now, she was a forty minute drive away and not comfortably there every time she needed someone. It hurt. It really hurt. 

Clarke doesn't even realize Octavia's presence until she's plopped on her back as well, staring up at the ceiling. "What are we looking at?" She whispers and Clarke looks over. 

"I broke up with Lexa." Clarke says blandly. 

Octavia jumps up so she's sitting cross legged. "What do you mean? Why?" Without even giving much thought into it, Clarke opens Instagram to show her the picture. "Awe Clarke. Dude, I'm sorry." 

"Yeah," she sits up, joining Octavia, so the tips of their knees touch. "She said she loved me." 

Octavia rolls her eyes. "Girls are bitches and boys are dicks. You literally cannot win." This makes Clarke smile, laugh even. Octavia pushes her backward, causing the smile to grow even more. "It's true!" 

"I know. I just... I wish my feelings were as important as hers, ya know?" 

She nods in agreement. "Well I got something that will take your eyes and mind off of she who shall not be named." Octavia's eyes are bright and promising and the smile that she wears is contagious. "There's a party tonight... I don't even know who's hosting it but it's going to be liiit. You should totally come, the whole gang is going and this is the perfect opportunity to get out and have a good time. Stanford parties are quite possibly some of the best..." she drags on as she usually does and Clarke chuckles at her trying to win her over. 

"Sure." Clarke says, nodding. It's a stupid way to get over someone, go out drinking and do the same thing she did. But maybe it would get her mind off of Lexa, let her loosen up a bit. "But you gotta find a new designated driver cause there's no way I'm going there and not getting shit faced." 

Octavia throws her head back, clapping her hands and letting out laughter full of fire. "That's what I'm talking about!" Clarke laughs along with her. "Bellamy will drive us." 

"You're not gonna ask him first?" Clarke lifts her eyebrows tentatively. 

"Lets just say..." she wiggles her shoulders. "If dad found out about Echo sleeping over..." Octavia pauses to roll her eyes, "he'd be dead."


	6. Chapter 6

The party is just outside of Stanford, not too long of a drive and Bellamy is dropping both Clarke and Octavia off. The sky is a light shade of blue while cotton candy colours swirl amongst the clouds. "Look out for each other, I don't need anyone getting drugged. Explaining this to dad is hard enough." Bellamy's laugh is deep and hoarse and makes the both of them laugh as well. Octavia's sarcastic and Clarke more nervous. 

"Oh yeah like dad doesn't already know." Octavia looks in the backseat to Clarke and she rolls her eyes. "Dad plays it cool, he says he doesn't know but really, he's just a big nerd playing a game." 

Clarke chuckles. "Okay well I would prefer to not get drugged myself so either way, that's my goal for tonight!" She shrugs, throwing her arms up and Octavia giggle. 

"Text me when you're ready to go. The last thing I need is you catching a ride with some drunken senior." Octavia leans into Bellamy to plop a kiss on his cheek and he rustles her neatly straightened hair. "And pull your shirt up." He grabs at her dress. and yanks it up. "Be careful." But before he can say anymore and place anymore warnings, both Octavia and Clarke have escaped their way out of the car. Octavia's laugh echoes behind her as usual, hand gripped tightly at Clarke's wrist as they run through the rain and up the driveway. They're trying to avoid from getting drenched, holding their hands over their heads as they duck in between cars, however it's not doing much good. The house is large and grand, the music that's pouring from the cracks and creases are loud and pounding and without any alcohol being consumed quickly would result in a headache. 

Once pushing their way through the door, Octavia quickly sees Fox and jumps on her back, planting smooches into her cheek. With them, the rest of the group tightly follows. Monty and Jasper wreak like weed and higher than a kite. Harper is eyeing a cutie in a muscle shirt and Monty is trying to steal her affection. Monroe is flirting with a Sophomore girl Clarke recognizes from the halls and Gaia is complaining about the lack of vegan food choices. "Hello beautiful." A voice calls and Clarke spins around on the balls of her converse. Finn stands in a leather jacket and a wide smile on his face as he pulls Clarke in for a hug. She hugs him back, but the smell of weed makes her turn her nose away. "Can I get you a drink?" 

Clarke looks for Octavia, who is already lost in the crowd. She said back off and claimed dibs on Finn long before, but she obviously wasn't too concerned. And one drink wouldn't hurt. "I'd love one." She licks her lips and a sigh escapes her. Finn chuckles, grabbing on to her hand and she doesn't pull away, surprisingly. She's actually squeezes on to his hand as they burrow themselves through the people and to the kitchen bar. It's like every thought of Lexa soared out the window. Every false 'I love you' and 'you're my world' and 'I'm never going to leave you'. Gone. Mixed in with tonic water and vodka. 

The music is loud, so loud that it becomes difficult to think. Each pound of the base, bodies vibrate and liquid spills over the rim of solo cups. After picking up a vodka cruiser in raspberry flavour for Clarke, they fall in and out of hallways and wind around sweaty bodies. Finn leads Clarke to a side room off of the game room upstairs and they sit comfortably on the couch. Music still loud, but muffled enough to hear the hum of each other's voices. "I'm glad you came." Finn is seated beside Clarke, her back pressed into the arm of the couch. They're close, but have space between them which Clarke appreciates. But the more she sips at the drink in her hand, the more she curls her toes and is wishing the space between them was eliminated. There are other people in the room, but not many, and the ones who are were smoking from a bong. 

"So am I." The corners of her lips turn up and she feels her heart pound in her chest. Avoiding the energy of everyone else, Clarke can feel his gaze walking her body. She didn't know if she liked it but after several minutes, she knew she was ready for another drink. Finn leaves to get another set of coolers and Clarke pulls out her phone to check on Octavia. A lazy message of U OK? while her fingers dance across the key board.

Duh. LOL. Octavia replies with the monkey emoji and Clarke could practically envision the smile on her face as she danced around the senior boys she so desperately was infatuated with. 

Finn comes back shortly, hair slightly disheveled with a lazy grin as he sulks in beside Clarke. When she takes the cooler from him, her fingers sit on his and their eyes are locked. Clarke didn't know much about Finn, but somehow none of that really mattered. All that mattered was their touch and the connection that came with it. 

The space between them is less obvious now, the skin of her leg rubbing against his worn in jeans. His arm around her comfortably as talk about school and Stanford as they sip at the alcohol they're so happy to have. It leave a bitter sweat taste with every sip in Clarke's mouth. "Mr Danlor can be quite the uh...." Finn starts but Clarke cuts in. 

"Dick?" She laughs, it's the affect of the alcohol. Everything that's inside of her, letting loose and she couldn't care less of what happens. They shared a calculus class with 'Dick Danlor' with his pants too tight and shirt buttoned too high. Always assigning tardys just as the bell rang and assigning too much homework only in the first week. 

Finn nods, chuckling. His laugh is sweet, and charming even, which makes Clarke's grin grow wider. "That's definitely not wrong." 

Through talking and flirting somehow in they mix, Clarke has downed two more coolers, her vision definitely foggy and there's a warm tingling sensation fizzing through her body. She leans her head back, falling against Finn's arm. Her eyelids flutter lightly as she looks to him. He makes her comfortable and there's no tension between them whatsoever. It's then, he leans in, placing his lips tightly against Clarke's. Her heart jumps heavily, but it's good, and she likes it. She likes the way his lips feel against hers, and the way he's tugging at her top lip. Finn's hand has traveled to Clarke's side and he's pulled her closer, as if she didn't think it was possible. His skin is hot, and his fingers line the hem of her blouse, leaving trails along the sensitive area on her stomach. 

Clarke had lost her fingers against the back of Finn's neck, every time their lips meeting again, feeling like some kind of firework exploding in the pit of her stomach. She dug her kisses deeper, tightly, her tongue caught in the middle. Her phone buzzed from the pocket of her sweater and slowly, she dragged her lips apart from his, leaning her clammy forehead against his. Octavia. If Octavia saw, she would die, if Octavia even heard anything about this she would be completely torn up. She had yet to see the wrath of the Blake's that everyone spoke so dangerously about. "Not, not here." Clarke says, her voice a breathy mix of uncertainty. 

Finn rises, grasping both Clarke's hands in his as he walks backward falling into the comfort of someone's bedroom. Clarke so close as he stares upon her plumped lips. Somehow drawing out the light in his eyes as they fumbled with clothing. The room a dark hum of blue. Somehow Finn locked the door behind them, the clicking reaching to the inside of Clarke's mind. It moved quickly, their lips overlapping and Clarke's sweater fell to the floor followed quickly by Finn's jacket. It was fast, the way his lips drew against her neck finding the path along her collarbone which made her moan softly. Clarke dug her fingertips under his t-shirt, his skin sticky and hot and she dragged the cotton off his torso. She's trying to be indifferent, trying not to care, but it's unavoidable. He is overly attractive and standing in front of her without a shirt, half naked and she can't keep her hands off of him. She's afraid, scared what comes next with this. But she doesn't let that stop her. She follows Finn's lead as he drops her to a bed, all she understands is that he's here in front of here and his touch is incredible. It's intoxicating. And she forgets completely about Lexa. 

Finn's unclasped her bar in one swift movement and his lips maneuver their way around her neck and she lets out a heavy breath. "Is this okay?" He asks. His voice is deep and husk as he pushes his hand down the front of her pants. 

"Yes," she begins, drawing his lips back to hers, "yes, of course." That's the only thing he needed, with that, no more time is wasted. Clothing removed and eyes danced across each other. He's memorizing every inch of her body with his eyes and his touch. Her skin is soft and baby-like. Looks as if she's never been harmed. The sounds that escape her lips leaves Finn hungry for more as they tangle their limbs between each other's. 

He makes her feel something, something she can't put her finger on. He's strong and the way he's controlling every move makes her heart pound tightly in her chest as if every muscle is being contracted in her entire body. When his lips touch her inner thighs, she's gone, there's no question. She's completely and totally wrapped up in the moment and the boy that is Finn Collins.

Clarke lied sleepily beside Finn, admiring him as his chest rose and fell. She had sobered up, enough to know she probably shouldn't of have had sex with him. She knew Octavia liked him and she went to far. Even kissing him was too far. But he was beautiful, and she felt so good. He had been her first male encounter, and he was so sweet about it, so careful and kind as they both got off under the moonlight struck bedroom. But Clarke knew the longer she stayed with her body pushed up against his, the harder it would be to leave. And the easier it would be to gain feelings. 

She slid from under the sheets and located her bra, slipping the straps over her shoulders and doing up the clasp. Finn admired her body, especially the dimples in the bottom of her back. She was quite possibly the most beautiful girl he had ever been with and was bathing in all of her beauty. "Going so soon?" 

Clarke ran her tongue over her lips and peaked over her shoulder to see him still shirtless and propped up on his elbow. "You're cute." Clarke drags her shorts off the floor and slide them up after her panties. 

"You're sexy." 

Clarke blushes and stand up beside the bed, doing the button up on her bottoms. She smiles, softly, before leaning down and kissing him. His hand cradled on the bottom of her back, pulling her closer as his tongue slips into her mouth. "That was fun." She mumbled before pulling away. 

"So stay." Finn chuckles, taking her hand as she stands back up, shaking her head. "Why not?" 

She stays silent, biting down on the inside of her cheek. Clarke slings her top on and collects her phone and sweater. "Are you gonna tell Octavia?" 

Finn lets out a pathetic type laugh. "Wasn't on my itinerary."

"Keep it that way." A smirk grows at her lips, and once again leans down to capture his lips in between hers. Getting one last taste of his sweet confidence and vulnerability. 

Clarke sulks out of the room only to lean against the door. Her heart is.... hurting. For some strange reason. Wasn't this supposed to make her feel better? Wasn't this supposed to heal the hurt, not enforce it. It was fun and crazy and exhilarating but in this exact moment, she felt none of it. Instead, she thought of Lexa and wondering what she was doing. 

"Clarke! Oh my god, Clarke! There you are!" It's a voice Clarke recognized as Gaia, her arms crossed as she shakes her head. For a moment, she thinks she's been caught. "Octavia is... well, she's out of her mind drunk. I tried to get her to lay down but I think it's best if she heads home." 

The time on Clarke's phone shines a bright 1:30am and she nods in agreement. Quickly texting Bellamy requesting the ride he had so kindly offered. When they locate Octavia, she's got one hand with an empty solo cup and the other wrapped around Jasper as she's snuggled tightly into his lap. It makes Clarke smile, Octavia embodies a child ready for bedtime as she's draped on Jasper's shoulders. "Octavia." Clarke helps lift her off as Bellamy arrives, she's able to walk but she's drunk enough to not know left from right. "Is she always like this?" She asks Fox who is on the other side of her. 

"Nah, some senior named Atom dared her to a game of Beer pong and lets just say, she should've quit that instead of cheerleading." She rolls her eyes as she opens the door to the backseat, stunned by Bellamy. 

"Uh, hello. Fox, a little help." Clarke nudged her and has to drag her away from batting her eyes at Bellamy. They get Octavia in the backseat with great protest and Bellamy is scrolling on his phone. Fox wishes Bellamy a good night and he holds up his hand to wave goodbye, chuckling at his affect on all of Octavia's friends. "She's really into you." Clarke reminds, closing the passenger door and doing her seat belt. 

"Aren't they all?" He begins driving and although he's completely focused on the road Clarke can't help but look at him. "Thought you were gonna get shitfaced." 

Clarke lets out an exasperated sigh. "I did." Bellamy glances over to Clarke. "just sobered up, that's all."

He squints. "That's all? Damn teach me your ways." Clarke doesn't reply. Just sits in silence, staring along the nightlight covered roads. "Hey," Bellamy waves his hand in front of her face to catch her attention. "Hey, you okay?" 

She swallows harshly. The feelings of guilt curling through her body. "I made a mistake, Bellamy." He doesn't say anything, just waits for her to finish. "I slept with a guy, we hooked up, and... I don't know what I was thinking." 

"You let go, Clarke. It's okay." He assures her, not really seeing the problem. 

Shaking her head vigorously, Clarke lets out a strong huff. "No. It's not okay. Now, I'm just as bad as Lexa." 

The car stays silent for a moment. "You're not a bad person for trying to get over her." 

"I just wish I didn't have to get over her." 

Bellamy runs his tongue over his lips slickly. "You deserve someone who puts you first, whether you think so or not. And she.... she didn't do that. You deserve better than that, Clarke." 

She slowly looks over to to the driver seat. "What if I don't?" She doesn't mean to say it, it just kind of came out. She knew she deserved better, but there was always going to be that small part of her that thought maybe she wasn't worth it. Maybe she didn't deserve better. Maybe she was the exception, not the rule. 

"Don't say that." He whispers softly as they roll up the driveway to their humble abode. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to look at Clarke. She's got beads of sweat falling down her forehead and a uneasy smile on the line along her lips. She huffs, she's in pain. And it's difficult to look at him without turning to tears. "You're beautiful, Clarke. Beautiful and attractive and more than anything, young. You deserve better than that Clarke." 

When he talks to her so smoothly for a minute she begins to believe it. The way her name comes from his lips so easy makes her wonder if he was always like this. Was he always this charming or did he really mean the words that rolled from his tongue so freely? And from there she wondered what her voice would sound like coming from his lips as he laid back on his bed. Shirtless and a heavy smile at his lips. One of those dorky boy chuckles coming out from his mouth. She wondered what it would feel like, if it had been Bellamy instead of Finn. Wondered what her fingers would feel like along his skin. Wondered what things he would say and how it would feel. She wondered about it all, and although it seemed wrong, she just couldn't take her mind off of it.


	7. Chapter 7

That night, Clarke lied still in bed, her comforter resting against her torso as she stared along the white speckled ceiling. Not getting any sleep. Just thinking over the course of her actions. Running her fingers along the keyboard of her phone, wanting... needing to text Lexa, but not having the first clue what to say. After only getting a few house sleep a series of knocks at her door woke her. A grumpy Clarke pulled the sheets over her head and only dug further into the bed. The light flickered on and she winced from under the blankets. "Morning, sunshine." Its Bellamy's voice that she recognizes and peaks over from the blankets. "Hung over?" 

Clarke sits up in her bed and he walks through her room, toes pushing through the purple fury rug she placed beside her bed. "If that's what you wanna call it." 

"The parents left for some conference in San Diego tomorrow so they left me in charge. Thought maybe pancakes and bacon would do the trick?" 

A smile grows at Clarke's lips as she nods in agreement. "How's Octavia?" 

Bellamy rolls his eyes with a husky moan. "I swear. You'd think after one hangover she'd learn. But nope." 

"She's a kid." Clarke reminds and Bellamy starts off by saying that's not an excuse and if she's gonna want him to cover for her she better get her act together. 

Bellamy drags Clarke out of bed and downstairs to where she finds everything for pancakes already set around the kitchen island. Almond milk, Bellamy claims it's because it makes the pancakes fluffier and Clarke goes along with it. Partly because the way he's so confident is cute but more so because she doesn't have the energy to fight him on it. 

Clarke wears an old tie-dye t shirt with holes in it that she made at summer camp one year with a pair of shorts beneath. Her hair tied back in a messy, uncontrolled ponytail. Frizzy strands curl around her face and Bellamy can't help but she honk it's cute. He's awfully quiet, and once Clarke realizes she figures something must be wrong. "Hey, you okay?" Her elbows dig into the granite countertop beneath her as she drops her phone. 

His back tenses up underneath his muscle shirt and he stops whipping the batter. Bellamy doesn't respond though, so Clarke asks again. "Nothing. I'm just really concentrated on making the perfect pancakes." 

"Not buying it." She huffs, standing from the stool and going to the fridge, grabbing some orange juice and pouring two glasses, handing one to Bellamy. A piece offering. "No judgment. What's up?" 

Clarke's lips curve around the edge of the glass as he takes the other one from her grasp. "It's nothing you'd care to know about."  

She hops up onto the countertop in one Swift movement, her toes pressing into the piece of kitchen hardware beneath her. "Try me." 

Bellamy leans back into the counter behind him, staring at Clarke only a few feet away. She looks soft, and sleepy. Nearly childlike with her oversized t shirt and sipping on juice. "It's Echo." He starts, taking a heavy breath. A heavy fall coming shortly after. "She cheated on me, again." 

Her bottom lip drops softly, as in a sign of disbelief. Why would anyone cheat on Bellamy? Of all people, why him. He was beautiful and attractive, charming, kind. Why would you wreck something so.... perfect? "I'm so sorry..." Clarke's voice trails off weakly. 

"It's stupid because she's done it before and I was the idiot to take her back." Bellamy sips at his orange juice and for a moment Clarke thinks she can tear tears in his eyes. A glossy coating, but just as quick as she's seen it, it's already gone. And she's wondering if it was real. 

"You deserves someone who puts you first." Clarke reminds him as he had reminded her time and time again. Her smile goofy and all teeth, hoping to get a laugh from Bellamy. He smirks, but nothing more than that. In that moment, she realized Bellamy did truly care for Echo. Possibly to the equivalent of her love and adoration of Lexa. "If she's stupid enough to not realize what she has in front of her, she never deserved you in the first place." 

Bellamy sets down his drink and moves across towards the island to stand beside Clarke. "I wish it was that simple. God, I just feel so stupid." His hands hit the countertop, hard enough that Clarke's juice buzzes along the counter. She sets her hand on top of his. His hands are large, warm, and when she touches them something flies within her stomach. Almost like a spark igniting. Bellamy must feel it too, because he looks up to catch her gaze. Her beautiful eyes a light shade of blue, hair falling in her face. He watches as her eyes fall against his lips and he realizes he's watching hers as well.

"You're not stupid, Bellamy. You've got a big heart." Clarke moves her hand to his shoulder, resting comfortably and then they lock eyes. That's when impulse takes over. She's got a spark of fire in her, and she doesn't know why, but she kisses Bellamy. Her lips overtop his, and the thing is, he doesn't pull away. In fact, he deepens it. His large hand wraps around the back of her neck, pulling her closer. But the space sitting between them was still an issue. 

Bellamy leans into Clarke, one of her legs resting between his comfortably as their lips collide in a mess of uneasiness. Clarke's fingertips dig into his side and he smiles, not being able to pull her close enough. He wants her, right here. Right now. Simultaneously  something clicks in both of them. "This isn't right..." Clarke starts but Bellamy captures her lips in another kiss his hand holding tightly onto her waist. "Bellamy." She whispers, her lips bouncing against his in a vibration. "What about Octavia?" 

"What about Octavia?" He asks, leaning away and drawing his hands from her body. He thinks maybe she didn't want this, maybe he went to far. But she's the one who kissed him, and now his head is spinning with confusion. 

Clarke tries to form words and she realizes she's made a mistake. However, the longer she's separated from his contact, the more she wants it. The more she wants his hands in her hair and along her body and his lips laying on hers. She wants to be guided into a beautiful, crazy mess, that only he can understand. "This isn't right..." 

"Well then," Bellamy starts and leans forward to Clarke. A raised eyebrow and a cheeky smirk curving at his lips. "Lets make it right." 

Clarke rolls her eyes and without Bellamy noticing, dips her hand into the flour bag he had so foolishly left out, splattering it on his face. A ghostly Bellamy stands before Clarke as she buckles over in laughter, sliding down from the counter. Her feet dance along the hardwood flooring as Bellamy wipes the flour from his eyes. Her giggles are loud and trickle from her like a child. 

"I'm so gonna get you for this, Griffin." He warns, but it's all in fun play. He hates that he looks like this in front of her, a goofy mess, but that possibly just made him more attracted to her. The laugh that she shared was so lively that he couldn't help but laugh too. 

"Try me, Blake." She tilts her head up, a threatening glare at her lips and she's prancing around the island, avoiding his move. Clarke can't stop laughing, she's really laughing. Laughing so hard that a pain is pinning itself in the pit of her stomach and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Bellamy likes to see her this happy, it looks good on her. She hadn't been this open since she came here, she hasn't been able to forget everything but right now, in this moment, it is exactly what she's doing. 

A handful of flour somehow makes its way to Clarke's face, blurring her vision and Bellamy's taunting her. Clear revenge. Several chocolate chips splatter across Bellamy's chest between Clarke and her dropping some in her mouth. While doing this, he grabs onto her hips, pulling her close, her own face coloured in the white dust. He runs his fingers over her eyes and she flutters them open to reveal that same blue colour. Clarke licks her lips and got a moment time freezes. 

She memorizes the feeling of his hand on her hip and the fluttering in her stomach. She holds on to the way he's looking at her. And the way his smile is curving but only slightly, like he's staring in disbelief. Even covered in flour she's stunning. He cups her face in his hands, they're soft and he leans in quickly, their lips falling against each other's. Flour making a barrier between them that he licks away so slickly. Then their tongues are touching which sends a Clarke into a downhill spiral of weakness. She's surrender here or into that moment. In Bellamy's grasp, she doesn't want to leave. She could kiss him forever she thinks and it's almost as if she does. But it's not right she reminds herself. 

Bellamy can now tell something is wrong, her touch is colder and he pulls away. Swooping an arm around her, he pulls her towards the counter, both still covered in flour. "How about we make breakfast." 

They do make breakfast, well, Bellamy does. Clarke wasn't much for cooking so she sits back, popping chocolate chips and blueberries into her mouth when he's not looking. Most of the flour has been wiped away from both of them but Clarke just can't stop staring. Bellamy knows this, and every once in awhile looks over only to see her eyes dart away quickly avoiding him. Once the pancakes and bacon is done Clarke crawls upstairs to wake Octavia, pulling the drapes and practically dragging her out of bed. 

"Five more minutes.' She whines in the most cliche teenage voice ever. 

"We made pancakes," Clarke raises an eyebrow and Octavia peaks from under the blankets. "Well, Bellamy made pancakes. I just watched." 

Octavia slithers from bed and Clarke has never seen her this unpresentable. Usually, her hair is neatly tied back in s ponytail or styled along her shoulders. Usually a smile is printed brightly along her lips, but now, you can tell shes your average kid. Your average kid with a massive hangover, hair stuck to her face from sweat and eyes slightly squinted. 

Despite the hangover, Octavia bounces down the staircase while her sweats ride at her hips. She hops over to Bellamy and wraps her arms around him. "Good morning big brother." She mumbles into his back and then quickly lets go. "Wait, why are you here? What happened? Why aren't you at your dorm?" 

Bellamy laughs, handing Octavia a plate and she starts dishing out food. "Classes haven't started yet. Plus, dad and Abby are out of town. Someone had to be here to make you breakfast." 

"I could've done it!" Octavia furrows her brows. 

"Sorry O, but ice cream doesn't count as breakfast." He reminds and Clarke chuckles. "Neither does Froot Loops." 

Clarke snickers before jumping to grasp at her own plate, picking at a piece of bacon and popping it right in her mouth. Heading to the table, Octavia slithers in first. Clarke jumps when Bellamy touches the small of her back and he whispers something but she doesn't hear. Feeling uneasy about everything, she sits down. 

Octavia tells the same story of the party, how Jasper was being held up by two football players taking in more alcohol than his weight. And Bellamy laughed, but he wasn't paying attention. He sat, smirking at his pancakes lathered in syrup, while thinking of how good it felt to kiss Clarke. 

It was different than Echo. He wasn't sure how, but it was. Almost like, the excitement of something totally crazy and unrealistic made it so much better. He wanted to kiss her again. In fact, he could sit there kissing he for hours. She tasted like sugar with an aftertaste of bitter alcohol from the previous night. She smelt like flowers. So stupid and cliche, but she did. And he took a nice long look at the freckles layered lightly along her skin and he wanted to touch every single one of them. Wanted to lace them in kisses. 

In another world, if their parents never got engaged, Bellamy wouldn't have went for Clarke. He had a thing for girls with dark hair and dark features, but Clarke was different. She shined in the brightest light. Her eyes so clear you could read right into her, and he liked that. He really liked that. It wasn't right, in now way would it be right to try and chase a girl who was now living under his roof. Now someone who was supposed to be his sister. But Bellamy didn't care. Nothing he ever did was right, so why start now?


	8. Chapter 8

Octavia calls a movie night with the girls. Fox is first to arrive, of course, twizzlers in one hand and ginger ale in another. Harper and Monroe follow shortly with bags upon bags of movie theatre popcorn. It was the only way Octavia would eat it, otherwise, what's the point. Gaia cancels last minute with something else on her mind so it's just the five of them. Bellamy offered up the movie room downstairs so they all sprawled out watching Save Haven. Fox and Harper are gawking over the unnaturally sexy romantic lead and Octavia is rolling her eyes. "What, it's not like you got something in the works." Fox elbows her which causes Octavia's legs to shoot up in the air, dumping the popcorn along Clarke's lap. 

"You don't know that." 

"Shut up," Fox pushes at her again, "yes I do. Because if you were getting some action you would tell me. I'm your best friend." 

Harper scoffs, leaning forward and throwing a handful of popcorn towards Fox and most of it falls down the cleavage between her tank top. "What are we, chopped liver?" 

"Apparently so." Clarke adds stealing a Twizzler from across Harper's lap where Monroe is holding the candy hostage.

"I didn't tell any you, because I don't know if it's legit yet." Octavia leads on, sipping at her obviously empty ginger ale but is too lazy to pour more.

Fox slips her hand into the bag of popcorn. "Come on, O! The suspense is killing me. Who is it?!" 

As if to save Octavia from horrible interrogation, the door bell rings throughout the house and Clarke peels herself from the couch. "Don't you dare let anything exciting happen without me." She warns, dancing up the stairs, digging cash from the pockets of h r sweats. When Clarke arrives at the top, Bellamy is standing in the door frame, without a shirt, and holding three boxes of pizza. He closes the door behind him with his foot. "Hey! Wow, lemme get that." 

"Don't worry about it." Bellamy laughs, lifting the pizza higher from her. "On me tonight." 

Clarke shakes her head. "Wasn't my intention." 

He lets out a chuckle. "My sister, my responsibility." They stroll into the kitchen and he drops the pizza onto the counter and Clarke quickly peeks into the box and picking off a piece of pineapple. Bellamy snakes his hand down her back and lifts his fingertips under the hem of her Led Zeppelin tshirt. It's enough of his touch to leave tingles along her spine and a blush slowly pinches at her cheeks. 

"Thanks," she mumbles, looking up at him. "For the pizza." His eyes are dark but she feels comfortable looking into them. They're sweet, and soft, and for a strange moment she wonders what his eyes would look like under moonlight. He leans down and presses his nose to the side of hers before slowly dropping his lips down. Clarke freezes for a moment but it doesn't take her long, to wrap her arms around his neck and curve her back closer to his grasp. 

Harper hops up the stairs in the most inconvenient timing. Of course, she spots Clarke and Bellamy. Certainly not the way she was expecting. She chuckles, crossing her arms and walking closer. "Am I interrupting something?" She slips beside Clarke as they break away and pulls out a slice of pizza. "I didn't know we had a new delivery boy." 

It's Bellamy with the red cheeks now and Clarke is looking down, slightly embarrassed. "Hello Harper." He smiles, wrapping his arm around Clarke as she buries her face into his bare chest. His skin is hot. She doesn't know why she's embarrassed, especially around Harper. She always seemed to be the most 'chill' and forgiving of the group. 

Clarke grits her teeth and looks towards Harper. "Don't worry." Harper laughs, "I won't say a word. But like damn. Snagging Bellamy Blake, not easy." 

"Woah!" Bellamy steps in. "Still in the room." 

Harper rolls her eyes, "you know it's true. Every girl drools over you, including Foxy downstairs so I would definitely don't tell her about this little..." she moves her hands in the air, "whatever you've got going on. She'll be heartbroken." Clarke looks from Bellamy to Harper. "I'm gonna leave you two here, take the pizza downstairs and you guys can finish whatever I interrupted." And just as quickly as she was here, she's gone but now with the pizza in her arms. 

Clarke clicks her teeth and walks around to face Bellamy. He's got that goofy smile running along his lips and she can't help but smile back. He's so cute. So so so cute. "What is this? What are we doing?" She shakes her head in disbelief, that she's even in this situation, that she's somehow developed feelings for her new step brother. But with a face like that, how could you not? He's so sweet and enduring yet so sexy. 

Bellamy lines his fingers along the side her face, moving the hair from her eyes. A short shrug falls from his shoulders. "I don't know, but whatever it is, I like it." 

"I like it too." She whispers softly and puts her hand on top of his to hold it there momentarily. Clarke runs her fingers along the calluses on his hands and she wonders how they ever got there. "I'm just scared." 

"Don't be scared." He replies placing a soft kiss to her forehead and she closes her eyes, falling into his vulnerability. "Lets just take it day by day. See what we have. Go from there."  

She nods, her chest rising and falling before turning around before Bellamy pulls onto her hand ashes laughing, being dragged back against his chest. Clarke leans up to kiss him, really kiss him. A kiss that leaves him wanting more but she lets go, and trails off. Disappearing into dim lit downstairs. 

Later that night, the girls have, for the most part, fallen asleep. Octavia is laying tightly against Fox's stomach and Monroe is huddled up in the corner, a blanket draped lightly over her. Harper and Clarke are both tired, but not enough to sleep. So they sit, watching some old 'friends' episodes off of Netflix. Clarke is nervous of what Harper might say but she's been silent for the most part. That is until Rachel and Ross are kidding and Harper is flicking a twizzler towards Clarke. "You and Bell, you're kinda like Ross and Rachel, and Octavia is Monica." 

"Ewe no?" Clarke squints and makes a disgusting face. "Ross is like the thrift store version of Bellamy. Maybe. And that's being kind." 

"Okay true." Harper belts out. "How long has this being going on for?" Clarke looks over and lays her tongue over her lips. "Don't be weird about it. I don't care who you're sleeping with." 

"I'm not sleeping with him." Clarke pipes up and Harper rolls her eyes. "Bellamy and I, we just... get each other. I don't know, it sounds stupid." 

"Hey, it would not be the weirdest relationship I've seen. Monroe tried to go after this girl named Bree. They hooked up like once but Bree was drunk and Monroe held onto that moment for like months, I swear." 

Clarke grabs on to her wrist. "Hold up, Bree? Wasn't that the girl she was drooling over last night?"  

Harper nods dramatically. "Yes, and see. Now you get it. Bellamy and Clarke certainly wouldn't be as weird as that." 

Clarke lets out a soft chuckle and Harper lets out all the dirty little secrets of her friends. Fox is totally in love with Bellamy, but Clarke already knew that. But she also had a thing for Jasper which somehow would be cute. However, he's got a think for one of the girls on yearbook, her name is Maya and she's so soft spoken no one knows how Jasper even found out about her. Octavia is totally in love with Finn and when the words drop from Harper's mouth she has the horrible memory creeping back from last night. "Harper, can I tell you something?" Her lips fall apart slowly. 

"Duh, spill." She sits up on the couch, crossing her legs and facing Clarke. 

"I slept with -"

"I knew it!" 

Clarke sighs, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "No, no. Before Bellamy and I, last night, before everything I... I slept with Finn." She drugs her teeth tightly into her lip waits for the horrible response she knows she's about to get. But instead, Harper pushed Clarke back by her shoulders. 

"Oh my god!" Harper has a wide smile spread evenly across her lips. "Girl, do you know how many girls have tried to get with him and have failed. You've been here two weeks and already snuck a hand in his pants?" 

"We were drunk." Clarke protests. "I did it to try and get over my ex, and, he's been texting me nonstop. All day. I, I don't know what to do." Her chest feels heavy. Finn had been relentlessly texting her all day. And every text came a wave of guilt. "I know Octavia has the hots for him, so if she finds out...." she glances over to see a sleeping Octavia and her lips turn downward. "This whole 'sister sister' thing we have going on is gonna implode."

Harper lends a comforting hand to Clarke's shoulder. "Octavia is... well. Octavia is a firecracker, that's no lie. I wouldn't be hanging out with her if she wasn't. Honestly, she's probably already over Finn. That girl hops from guy to guy and it wouldn't surprise me if she's onto Jasper next." Harper shrugs. "Don't worry about it. Just don't say anything... unless it comes up of course. Octavia admires honestly, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her." She pauses to lick her lips. "So wait, who are you going after. Bellamy or Finn? Or both?" 

"Harper! Oh my god!" Clarke squeals and her friend quickly covers her mouth to silence the sound, not wanting to wake the others. "Bellamy just kinda... happened. I don't know. I like him, but isn't it weird?" 

She shrugs heavily. "It sounds like a Lifetime Original if you ask me. But hey, he's hot. So why not?" 

Clarke and Harper spend the rest of the night talking and gawking over male celebrities while eating cold pizza and room temperature ginger ale. She's extremely laid back, and doesn't care much, or at least, its the cover that she puts off. She's an extremely emotional person, in fact, cares a little too much. She just wouldn't ever let that show. 

The two of them end up falling asleep dressed in pizza crumbs and potato chips laid across the couch with the rest of their friends. Fury drag like that until the following day when Bellamy wakes them with scrambled eggs and home made smoothies. Clarke doesn't know if he did it on purpose, but he's freshly showered. And water is dropping softly from his curls along his face. Fox is sitting at the kitchen island practically drooling and Clarke is avoiding eye contact with mostly everyone. 

Octavia is whining about how her neck is cramped and Monroe is telling her to get over it. Bellamy keeps glancing at Clarke. Watching as she tucks frizzy hairs behind her ear and rubs her lips together. Watches as she laughs and which way her smile curves. "He's so dreamy." Fox whines. 

"Shut up!" Octavia slaps her while slipping at her strawberry banana smoothie. "Don't boost his ego even more." 

"Hey!" Bellamy pipes up. "Boost my ego, come on now." He runs his hand over Fox's shoulders and her eyes fall completely onto a puddle. 

"He's taken! Plus he's my brother, ewe!" Octavia crunches and Clarke almost chokes. 

"Actually," Bellamy leans against the counter, his skin sticking to the granite. "Echo and I, we broke up." 

Clarke goes back to sipping at her smooth and Harper isn't stupid. She can sense the awkwardness and tension in the room as Octavia starts asking questions. "Well I don't know about you, losers. But I'm going to go for a dip." She jumps off her stool, slinging off her tank top to reveal a bikini and grabs tightly onto Monroe's hand. Fox follows shortly and Octavia is left with Bellamy and Clarke as she trying to dig for answers. 

"I didn't tell you, cause it doesn't matter." He cocks his head to the side. 

Octavia huffs as Fox pulls at her, begging to go for a dip. "Okay, whatever bell. But promise whoever you date next, I have to approve of them. I'm sick of you falling into the traps of big boobed bitches." 

Clarke looks down, hiding back a smile. "Okay, O." Bellamy starts. "I promise." He glances over to Clarke but she misses his eyes and it's good because Octavia furrows her brows in question. As Octavia and Clarke empty the room, Bellamy pulls Clarke back, his fingertips booking on hers. "Hey, princess!" Clarke's cheeks tint red as she looks up to him. He rubs the side of her face gently and she closes her eyes momentarily. "What do you say, you, me.... a movie?" 

Clarke rolls her eyes and picks at the skin on the inside of her lip with her teeth. "Did you just ask me out on a date?" 

He shrugs roughly. "What do you say, princess?" 

She nods her head. "But what about Octavia?" 

"She's going over to Fox's to work on some cheerleading thing." He leans in to kiss her and she leans up. She's craved his lips since last night. And each kiss they shared is just S incredible as the next. Soft or messy. Both enjoyable. Clarke runs her hand down his chest and grasps tightly onto his side, muscles flexing underneath. "Is that a yes?" 

Harper jumps into the room. "Come on love bug, sorry to interrupt but I can only cover your ass for so long!" 

Clarke nods as she backs away. "It's a date."


	9. Chapter 9

Octavia and Fox hop out of Bellamy's black Lexus convertible with backpacks slung around their shoulders comfortably. "Do you need a ride to school tomorrow?" Bellamy asks, his arm hung over to car door. 

"Nah, Finn is gonna come pick us up." Her smile beams as she wraps her arms around  Bellamy and giving him a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek. 

The sky was a soft shade of blue with purples and pinks circling around the clouds. She watches as Bellamy drives through the neighbourhood, her hand sitting in the wind. It runs through her fingertips so effortlessly. Bellamy has to concentrate on the road worried if he doesn't, he'll get caught up in the beauty that was Clarke Griffin.

One hand rests comfortably on the steering wheel, the other sitting in his lap. Clarke reaches for his hand, not looking over, just day dreaming and thinking of what this was. 

In her past relationships, Clarke didn't do the whole 'touchy feeling' thing. She never had a thing for PDA, thought it was lame and uncalled for. Keep it for the bedroom kinda thing. But right now, she craved Bellamy's touch. And she wondered if that's what affection was. She was wondering if maybe this was the feeling people talked about, the feeling. The one everyone went on and on about, the butterflies. 

A million things raced through her mind as Bellamy drove them to the restaurant, her wavy hair blowing over her shoulder and away with her thoughts. When they arrived, Clarke had hardly realized and Bellamy was squeezing onto her hand. "What's wrong?" She looked over and gave her best I'm fine smile but he wasn't buying it. "Seriously, talk to me. Do you not wanna do this?" 

"No! I do! I just...." she sighed harshly, "what if someone sees us. What if Octavia finds out or like someone else sees us and texts her or something. How are we gonna explain this?" 

Bellamy feels for her, the stress so obviously built tightly inside. But he shrugs and seeing him so obviously okay made her feel a little better. "Then they see us and she finds out." He licks his lips trying to find his words to make Clarke feel better. "I don't care who finds out, but if you do, we don't have to go in there." 

Clarke looks from them the sushi restaurant back to Bellamy and folds her hands into her lap tentatively. "I'm -I'm sorry Bellamy." 

"Don't worry about it." He whispers and leans to put a kiss to her head. Her eyes close at the softness of his heart and voice and everything in between. "I'll run in, grab us some sushi rolls and we'll park somewhere and tell stupid stories." He runs his finger trips along her cheek gently. "What do you say?" 

Clarke nods and as he sips out of the car she sits in shock. How could he be so great. So incredible. Why was he going after a 17 year old. Was this some stupid payback towards Echo? To prove that he is better than her, that he can get over her? That he never needed her in the first place? Was he just trying to get with Clarke? Just trying to get in her pants? Did he think she was easy just because she hooked up with Finn? And suddenly she's overthinking everything, she shouldn't of said yes and she shouldn't of opened up to him. This was a bad idea. What if she did find feelings for him? What if what she was feeling was 100% real and he felt it too? 

Hypothetically what if what they had was real. What if they went all the way. What if hand holds and kissing turned into feelings and devotion. What if... what would she do? What would they do? How would they explain this to their family and friends? A simple question of how did you meet could turn into a story that no one wanted to explain. 

Her thoughts are interrupted by Bellamy passing her fountain drink and a plastic bag filled to the rim of styrofoam dishes. They drive to the beach, the one no one ever really goes to, and sit at the edge of the pier. Clarke removes her converse and sets her legs over the edge. Bellamy has his eyes on Clarke while she watches the sunset. "It's beautiful out here." She takes a breathy gasp at the sky, its now shades of oranges and pinks. 

"It sure is." Bellamy smiles and Clarke can feel his gaze on her, but she doesn't bring herself to look his way. 

Clarke sips at the Dr Pepper before setting it down and clearing her throat. "My dad and I, when I was younger and my mom was working late he would let me stay up past my bedtime." She closes her eyes to drag back the memories of all the yesterdays that passed and the tomorrow's that's never did. "We'd walk along the beach, dig out toes into the sand and watch as the sun fell behind the wall of clouds." Bellamy watches her intricately, watches as her eyes fall against the shoreline and the way her mouth curves. "And then he'd piggyback me the way home, sometimes I'd fall asleep and wake up curled in my bed and dream of the whole night over and over again." 

Bellamy reaches his hand out to tug tightly onto Clarke's fingertips. When she looks over, she's got tears in her eyes. "Awe, Clarke. Come here." He motions and she scotches near him, resting her head on his shoulder while he wraps his arms around her tightly. "It's okay." He soothes, pushing a light kiss to the top of her head. 

"I just- I just miss him." Clarke's breath comes out shaky and nervous and tears pool from her eyes quickly dampening his shirt. 

Bellamy lets her cry. He doesn't try to stop her from letting out the emotions she's built up inside for however long. He sits there, and holds her tightly, rocking her back and forth, humming a soft whisper to her ear. It takes her a while for her heart rate to steady but when she does, it's like she freezes. She doesn't want to move from the moment, held so tightly by Bellamy. He runs his fingertips lightly along her sunkissed arms which only makes her melt through him more. 

She's happy. In this moment, she's happy. She's comfortable and warm and wouldn't wanna change this moment for anything. There was something about Bellamy, that just made sense. Made her feel like she made sense. And they sit there for awhile. In silence. And then silence turns to talking and Bellamy brings up Aurora, his mother. "My mom was probably the most angelic woman you would've ever met." It's his time to break down. "She was so selfless. She would do absolutely everything for O and I. We were so lucky to have her as a mom for as long as we did. She was just... I can't even put it into words." A tear falls from Bellamy's eye and Clarke wipes it away slickly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "She loved the beach. Sometimes, mom would call us into school sick, not telling dad of course, and we would spend the day at the beach. We would get ice cream and Octavia would get it all over herself so we would have to go for a swim when we got home. She was like a mermaid, my mom. She would live in the water if you let her." 

"She sounds incredible." 

Bellamy takes a deep breath. "She was." Clarke rubs her thumb along Bellamy's jawline and drew him in for a soft kiss. One of understanding. That kiss said so many thing without really saying any at all. 

~~~

Later that night after the drive home Clarke and Bellamy went their separate ways through the house. A goodnight kiss parting them slowly. Clarke had a shower and changed into her pj pants and a tanktop. And just like every other night she laid still. Even after sleeping pills and the moonlit room she couldn't sleep. But instead of replaying the moments of despair she was replaying today and yesterday. She was replaying her moments with Bellamy. How could someone be so... good? 

She pulls out her phone and sends a quick text message. 

Clarke: hey 

It doesn't take. Bellamy long to respond, in fact only a minute or two. 

Bellamy: hey :) 

Clarke: you're still up?

Bellamy: when am I not? lol

Clarke smiles at his stupid half joke that doesn't really make any sense at all. A second text message comes through. 

Bellamy: why are you still up? don't princess's have bedtimes?

Clarke: not when they can't sleep. 

There's a pause between the messages and Clarke wonders if maybe he's fallen asleep, his big tough guy cover diminishing. Clarke locks her phone screen and rolls under the covers, pulling the blankets over her shoulders and trying to shut her eyes. 

The phone buzzes which alarms her, opening her eyes as the screen lights up the ceiling in a cool blue hue. 

Bellamy: did you wanna come to my room?

Her heart stops, momentarily and she wonders what it means exactly. She tries to think back to Finn and wondering if this is how it went down. If he simply asked her to slide into the bedroom but her thoughts are foggy and she doesn't care to remember them. 

Clarke mentally paced the room and wiggled her toes under the sheets. Clicking her teeth together only for her heart to begin racing. The screen lights up again. 

Bellamy: just like, to hang out. nothing more nothing less.

Clarke breathes out a sigh of relief and it's not that she didn't want to maybe possibly hook up with Bellamy. But the thought of it that scared her. The after math and the walking into the situation kinda thing. But Bellamy was soft and sweet and that text message makes her feel better. 

She hops down the stairs, toes curling into the hardwood beneath her. She takes a deep breath before pushing open the door to Bellamy's bedroom. The light is off but a lamp quickly turned on. "Hey I didn't think you were -"

"I just didn't know what to say." She whispers and her voice comes out rough. Bellamy is shirtless, the rest of him hung under the blankets but the band of his underwear peaking above the covers. "I just couldn't sleep." 

"Me either." He says, and motions for her to join him on the bed. "You okay?" 

Clarke nods slides down onto his sheets, crossing her legs beneath her and he sits up against the bed frame. "I had a nice time tonight." 

"You said that." He chuckles and Clarke blushes, looking down and a smile curving along her lips. 

"I like you... Bellamy." She whispers, scared to look up but when she does it's comforting. 

He smiles, he's mouth turning into a goofy grin. "I like you too, Clarke."

She reaches for his hand and lifts herself slightly off the bed, leaning to kiss him. He's warm and smells like aftershave which strangely reminds her of her dad. Bellamy's hands reach around Clarke's waist, itching beneath the bottom of her tank top. She loves his touch, and craves it even more as he drags her back ok top of him. Clarke crawls closer to him easily as their lips intermingle and tongues are swatched against the other. Her legs slide around him as she runs her hands down his chest, silky soft yet toned as hell. Clarke adjusts several times before finding a comfortable spot on top. 

Bellamy pauses, to hold her face in his hand, her eyes sparkling with something he hadn't seen thus far. She swiftly moves her lips along his lips, trapping his bottom lip between hers. Vigorously she moves her kisses along his jaw and to his neck, quickly finding a sweet spot behind his collarbone. "We don't have to do this." He lets a harsh exhale. He's scared of scaring her off, scared of messing things up when he genuinely liked her. Scared that somehow he may have pressured her into this. But Clarke was the one to initiate this, she didn't know if it's what she needed. But it's most certainly what she wanted. 

Clarke sits up straight and licks her lips tightly, dragging her teeth across them. Her index finger lines his lips as she leans closers, balancing her forehead against his. "Lets just go with the flow." She whispers. "Nothing more... nothing less." 

A tingling sensation run in through the tips of his ears and all the way to his toes. She's so sexy. So beautiful. In fact, he couldn't believe this was happening, and she was here, preached above him so easily. Clarke's hands were mazing themselves along his chest while they kiss. They continue on easily, Bellamy tugging gently on her hips to pull her closers. Her kisses are like fire, gentle but hot. And she's able to captivate him, which was hard. 

Clarke runs a hand down his chest and backs up a bit to dig under the sheets and at the hem of his boxers all while lips trailing along his. It's like Bellamy can sense the nerves curling up in her stomach because he holds tightly to her shoulders, a look of genuine concern. "Not yet." He whispers pulling her up for a kiss and flipping her beneath him. A lively giggle escapes from her lips as Bellamy buries himself in the crook of her neck sucking at her soft skin. She wraps her arm around him, holding him as close as she can. Between them, he slips a hand down, grabbing at her chest and placing a kiss at her lips. "You okay?" He checks in and it's so sweet that she bears a heavy smile, hot breath falling from her lips. 

"Yes, of course. Yes." She kisses him, sweetly and pulls his bottom lip between her teeth as he moves his hand farther. Groping by at her and she cries out softly at his touch. Bellamy's fingers draw down her body as he crawls down her hips. Hiking up her shirt, he ducks at the skin along her stomach and lower until the edge of her pants. "Bell..." she says softly, a hand in his hair as he rubs her overtop the barrier of clothing.


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke's eyes open groggily to see a sleepy Bellamy facing her. Hair fallen over his eyes while his lips sit slightly parted. She rides her finger to his face, running the tips against his skin, curving around his face. His skin is so soft and it feels nearly like velvet against her own. Bellamy hugs her hip tightly as his eyes flutter open. "Good morning, princess." He whispered, his voice husk as he leaned into her lips gently. 

"Mornin'," she smiled back a bright teethy grin as she leaned into his kiss. Gentle but electrifying. Soft little pecks from both of their accounts. "I could stay here forever." She snuggled into him, closer. 

"No one says you can't." Bellamy's lips smooth along her forehead. 

For a moment time pauses and she considers it. Just laying here forever in Bellamy's arms. His strong, trusting arms around her so easily. "I wish." Bellamy kisses around her lips softly until he's dragging sloppy kisses along her jaw and to her neck. The spot that makes her crazy, the one he found last night. "Bell..." she breathes heavy, running her hands softly through his hair. "I have school. I have to get ready." 

But that doesn't stop him from slowly working on the deep spot in her neck as she lets out soft breaths. "Or..." he leans up to kiss her lips this time. "You can stay right here?"

 

Clarke rolls her eyes. "What, skip school? The second week in? You're already an incredible influence, obviously." 

Bellamy laughs into her lips and she pulls away to sit up, her hair disheveled and mess from all the playing around the previous night. He follows shortly behind her, laying soft kisses on her shoulder and her neck. "I never said I was innocent."

She chuckles and turns to face him. His freckles beaming off his face nearly childlike. "Well, maybe one sick day wouldn't hurt." Slowly crawling overtop of him and holding his shoulder, kissing her tightly and passionately. 

It doesn't take very long until Octavia is texting Clarke wondering her whereabouts nervously. It takes a solid few minutes and promising she's fine in order for Octavia to believe her and then she receives a text from Harper. 

Harper: hey sexy, how'd last night go?

Clarke rolls her eyes and blushed slightly with an uneasy grin while Bellamy made them lunch. Cutting up lunch meat and putting it together. 

Clarke: fuck I can't even begin... 

Harper: Octavia is practically having a bird, she's worried you're sick

Clarke: what did you say?!

Harper: that you probably drank too much, an accurate guess if you ask me. 

Clarke snorts which causes Bellamy to look up and over the island. "Who's that?" 

"Harper." Clarke sets her phone face down and licks over her lips lightly. "We should talk." 

"About?" He asks, toasting the bread lightly before dishing out the plate. 

She grinds her teeth, lightly pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth. Her toes curl around the stool bar. "What are we doing?" 

Bellamy stops for a moment, placing his hands against the countertop and tilting his head. "Making lunch?" 

"No, I mean like..." she bites the tip of her tongue tightly. "Us. You. Me. What are we doing? Last night was... awesome, but..." she swallows tightly. "What are we? Who are we?" 

He drags his tongue over his lips. "What do you want us to be?" Clarke takes a heavy breath. Not knowing what she wanted. Did she want to move forward with this? Did she want to continue to find herself curled up in his sheets, their limbs tangled together effortlessly. Did she want to find that one of a kind comfort in him? Was she okay with that? Was he okay with that? Was anyone going to be okay with that?

Clarke taps her fingertips into the counter gently as she grinds her teeth."I... I don't know."

Bellamy sipped at his tall glass of water. "Lets just... play it out. Go with whatever comes along." 

Rising to her feet, she nods and walks around the counter, wrapping her arms around Bellamy from behind. Almost like a present. He touches her hands that hold tightly to his t-shirt and he smiles. Knowing she's able to break the barrier between them was a lot but he also knew that she was comfortable with. And he was comfortable with her, too.

With the following week Bellamy and Clarke leave things kinda how they are. When he comes over for dinner they sneak outside kisses and under the table leg squeezes but not much more than that. With his first official week back at school, he had a lot on his place. Getting settled in his dorm with his roommates and moving his stuff in. Attending classes and avoiding Echo every chance he could. Clarke knew that she had hurt him, and she wasn't scared that he would steer back to her. She was more worried about Echo hurting him ever more.

It was the day before the two year anniversary of her fathers death. Clarke sat at home beside Octavia as she sprawled along her bed. A biology textbook laid in front of her as she dangled a gel pen from her fingertips. "I just don't get all this mitochondria bullshit." Octavia huffed and looked towards Clarke. "Can you explain it again?" Clarke sits in a daze staring at her hands placed so timely at her knees. "Hello! Earth to Clarke!" Octavia pushes  her and Clarke jerks. 

"Yeah, sorry. Um, basically it's the brain of the cell. It's where everything starts and ends." Clarke licks her lips. 

Octavia shuts her text book huffs tightly, sitting up. "What's going on? You haven't been yourself lately." 

It's true. The past few days Clarke was off. Silent. Not making sarcastic remarks or laughing at Octavia's jokes or giving her mom the stink eye when she wasn't looking. She didn't have the energy for it and she was scared to explain to Octavia the reasoning behind it. Scared that Octavia wouldn't get it. She was a kid when her mom died, everything in their stories and paths were different. The death of their parents were completely different experience, and Clarke feared opening up to Octavia about it. "I'm fine." She smiles endearingly. "We need to get you understanding this stuff. Come on." Clarke pulls the text book to open it up to the right page. 

"I'm not stupid." Octavia said. "What's going on... seriously. I'm worried about you." 

Clarke wets her lips and shrugs softly. "I'm just tired." She was tired. It was the honest truth. Nights were hard. Not being able to sleep and just aimlessly laying there staring at the ceiling. When Bellamy was still home it was nice to know that at least someone in the house was also awake. Someone in the house understood. But he was at his dorm most nights and unable to be there. Only through texting and uneasy moments of wishing he was there. 

Abby didn't like thinking about her ex husbands death. She didn't want to bring it up as it brought up to many hurtful memories. She was scared that if she brought it up, it would only hurt Clarke more. And that was the last thing she needed. So Clarke went through it alone, suffering in silence as usual. "Really, O. I'm fine." She promised with a wide smile. 

Uneasy, and not sure what to say, she totally goes with it. Giving up and realizing she's not getting anywhere with Clarke. They continue on with biology homework and studying and it's shortly after 9pm when Clarke calls it quits. Slithering into the bathtub with bubbles curling up against her body. The soft fizz of the soap leaving a hum in the room. She stays there for awhile until there's a knock on the door which wakes her from the silent numbness. "Clarke, honey... are you in there?" 

She sits up in the tub and clears her throat. "Mom? What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." She says softly. "I just wanted to talk to you." Abbys voice is gentle, nothing Clarke was used to. 

"Right now? I'm kinda busy." Of course the one time she truly wants to be left alone someone is knocking at the door. 

There's a pause and Clarke wonders if she already left. "That's okay. I can wait." It had to of been nearly 10pm if not later and she knew her mom had to be at the hospital at 5am. 

She stands from the tub, wrapping a towel around her body tightly. "Come in." She unclicks the lock and opens the door to see her mother's eyes red and swollen. She had been crying. Abby's arms immediately latch around Clarke tightly and she pushes the door closed behind her. Tears mix with the water dripping from Clarke's body. "Mom? Mom, what's wrong?" 

"I'm so sorry, Clarke." Her voice hushed and uneasy. "I'm so sorry." 

Clarke furrowed her brows and leaned away from her mother. "What's wrong? Why are you sorry?" 

She sniffled and stood back before sitting at the edge of the tub. "I shouldn't have forced you to move here. This was too soon. Your father... he would be so disappointed in me. I'm so sorry Clarke." And she begins to cry, heavily. So Clarke turns on the tap leaving the water to create white noise. 

"Did something happen between you and Kane?" She sits beside her mother, a hand gently touching her shoulder. "Did you get in a fight?!" 

Abby shakes her head, swallowing tightly. "No, no that's not it. It's just... with anniversary of your fathers death... I don't know what to do with myself." 

This is most likely the most vulnerable Abby had ever been in front of Clarke. The most emotional and broken down. She had never showed this side of her until now. Quite frankly, it nearly scared Clarke. Made her feel uneasy and anxious. This wasn't the Abby she knew. "Mom..." she whispered, rubbing her mom's back softly. "It's okay, I miss him too." A tear pooling in the corner of Clarke's eyes. 

Abby wrapped her arms around Clarke shoulders of moistened skin. "I'm so sorry." 

Clarke took a heavy breath, holding her mom tightly as she silently sobbed. "Please, don't be. It's okay." And they sit there for a moment in silent tears and extreme connection and vulnerability from both sides. The hush of the tap between them. "I used to despise you for it. Blamed it on you, said it was your fault. And I know I hurt you, mom. It's not your fault. It never was your fault. If being with Kane makes you happy, and subsides the pain you've obviously been feeling for so long, then please mom, be with him. Don't be afraid to love him. You deserve to be loved, dad would want that."

Her mother draws back from the hug, lining her fingers down Clarke's face gently. "You're such a good kid." Abby's frown grows into a smile. 

"You should get some sleep." Clarke insists. "And I should probably dry off." A laugh creeps from her lips and Abby leaves easily, letting Clarke finish getting cleaned up. 

She watches as she pulls her own hair back into a braid and curls her hair around her shoulder. She feels settled with her mom, as if it was something she needed to get out for an extremely long time. But her father would want Abby to be happy, and if Kane did that for her, that would have to be fine. She tip toes into bed softly and pulls the covers over her shoulders. Clarke wipes the screen of her phone and watches as the time ticks to 12:00. Her chest feels heavy. Two years. Two dreadful years without her father and all over again, she felt so alone. She grinds her teeth as a tear falls from her eye and quickly dampens her pillow. 

Without really intending on it she's texting Bellamy a soft: hey. I know this is crazy but do you think you could come get me? I really just don't wanna be here and you're the closest thing I have to feeling like someone understands me. 

He responds almost immediately. Of course. I'll be there soon.


	11. Chapter 11

"What's wrong?" Bellamy asks immediately, a look of concern spread deeply across his face. Clarke slid into the passenger seat shortly after tossing her back pack in and quickly did up her seatbelt. "Are you okay? What happened?" His fingers brushed the frizzy fallen hair in her eyes and she looks to him for comfort. 

"I just didn't wanna be alone." She whispers. 

His eyebrows furrow tightly. "Where's O? Dad? Your mom?" 

Clarke wet her lips slickly. "You're the only person who doesn't make me feel alone."

"Clarke." Her name falls from his lips so smoothly as he takes her hand in his, rubbing it softly, laying little circles upon her skin. Bellamy leans in to kiss her, lips chapped and dull. 

It's a silent drive back to his dorm. He wants to ask her what's wrong, but feels as if he shouldn't. If she wanted him to know she would say. She would tell him. Her eyes were glued to the road and when they roll up to campus she hardly even realizes. It's Bellamy kissing her fingertips that wakes her up from the horrible dream. She grinds her teeth scarcely, worried to look towards him, knowing there's tears in her eyes. So instead, she avoids his gaze and snuggles into his said as they walk through the dorms and into his room. 

A light glares from the tv, the football game from earlier today playing while two guys sit around with beers. "Ma man!" One shouts. "This your lady friend?" 

Bellamy looks to Clarke in the dim lit room as wipes her face of embarrassment. The pjs that sit along her hip bones seem a lot less practical. Bellamy nods towards his friends. "Clarke, this is Murphy." He points to a scrawny Weasley looking fellow with a middle part. His eyes glazed over from alcohol. Beside him sits a built fellow, skin tone of dark midnight against the tv screen glow. "And this is Lincoln."

Murphy gives a cheeky grin and salutes his way to Bellamy before slapping Lincoln's arm. "Nice to meet you, Clarke." He mumbles. Eyes still sitting tightly on the tv screen. Clarke looks up to Bellamy and he nods. Being able to read her mind was a trick he was slowly perfecting. She smiles shyly before Bellamy gives a wave and shuffles Clarke into his bedroom. 

It's small and confined. A lamp shines brightly beside a bookcase full of classics like A Farewell To Arms and This Side Of Paradise. Typical Bellamy. His bed was a small double, much smaller than what he had at home, but it already smelt like him. Soft and warm and comfortable the moment she slipped under the sheets. Already feeling so much less money in the space of his room. Bellamy stood awkwardly at the side of his bed before slipping off his shirt and jeans. Clarke snuggled between the wall and curled a pillow in her arms before Bellamy laid beside her. The bush from the tv in the living room sleeping through the walls. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Bellamy asked, sliding his fingers along the side of her face as her eyes fluttered shut. Her skin clammy under his touch. 

She opened her eyes to look at him for a minute before wrapping her arms around his waist tightly. Her face snuggling against his hot chest. The feeling of his skin against hers was comforting and promising. "It's been two years..." she whispered. Her voice a soft and low grumble. 

Bellamy wraps himself around her tightly, tangling his fingers in the hair that slipped from her braid. "Babe..." he said so softly she was wondering if she even heard him correctly. He places his lips to her head, even though she's sweaty and she looks up to him, quickly and in the dim lighting he can't take his eyes off of her. Her baby blues are watery and she wants to cry, she wants to let everything out in this exact moment. She can feel way this around Bellamy, she can feel safe and free of judgement. It's when he kisses her that she cries. When his lips fall upon hers and the world around her starts spinning. 

Bellamy tugs on her hip gently to bring her even closer. His fingers dance along her body, attempting to soothe the hurt. It didn't make it better, nothing could ever make it better, but Bellamy did make it easier. 

That night, she fell asleep in his arms, head on his chest, cuddled in the dorm bed. When the sun rose and Clarke woke, Bellamy was already awake, sitting at his desk going over something. She rubbed her eyes and stood from the bed, moping her way to the desk where Bellamy was so clearly concentrating. Clarke crawled into his lap, resting her head on his. "Morning." He whispered and she leaned in to kiss him lightly. "I didn't wanna wake you." 

She smirks, slightly, it tugs at her lips. "Thanks." Her voice comes out hoarse and Bellamy wraps his arm around her waist, dropping his pen onto the desk. His hold on her firm. 

"How are you feeling?" 

Clarke shrugged, the feeling of reality slowly sinking back. "Ya know." 

"I've got class in an hour, but I'm yours until then." Her braid had come out during the night and Bellamy played with the frizzy hairs between his fingertips. "You got anything in mind?" He asked, now rubbing her skin. The fact that he could never keep his hands off of her made her feel something she wasn't used to. Something different and exciting. He was always playing with her hair or running his hands along her body. Or kissing her. Always something. Like he always had to be within reaching distance, and it made her feel... desired. Wanted. Needed. Important. Clarke shrugged briefly and slouched with her legs straddled around him. She dug her hands in his hair and closed her eyes as she leaned her forehead against Bellamy's. 

His fingertips dug under her tank top and yanked it up. Clarke started to laugh, her cheeks turning pink as Bellamy pulled her top up to just under her chest. He kissed at her collarbone as she leaned into him. Melting to his every move, his tongue swirling along her skin. Clarke dragged him closer, pushing herself closer to him, letting out soft breaths as he smirked against her skin. 

Bellamy pushes her down tightly onto his lap and she could feel him through his jeans. Her heart began to race as his hands curled around the cups of her ass. Her pj pants felt thin against him as blood started rising to the surface. "You're so hot, Clarke." He whispered and she grabbed his face, taking his lips in hers. Her tongue curled around the edge of his lips as they twirl in a fight of dominance. He stood so easily, holding her effortlessly. Clarke's legs wrapped around him tightly, her ankles locking. 

They move to the bed, and he dropped her in the cushions. The poof around her making a laugh jump from her lips. Bellamy drove his shirt up and off his head and soon started to work on his jeans, dragging them off his skin. Clarke propped up on her elbows. Despite belief, they haven't gone all the way yet. It stopped at lips and hands as Clarke was nervous and Bellamy was scared to push her. But now, it was all that she could think about. The feeling of him inside of her, literally the two of them together. She wanted to know what his name would sound like on her lips in a time light that. So much connection and strength between the two of them yet vulnerability. 

Bellamy's fingers tickled Clarke's sides and under her shirt until it's slung off and she's lying there, bare chested. Sweat beading from her forehead. "Fuck Clarke... you're so hot." He grabbed himself in his underwear before leaning down to kiss her chest. Clarke's hands wrap around him, holding him close so he can't leave. He doesn't, but even if he did, he wouldn't be able to. He messaged her breasts as she let out high pitched moans and that's when the door swings open and Bellamy jumps up and Clarke rolls over to cover herself.

"Woah! Sorry!" Murphy laughed and catches a glance at Clarke's bare back and scratches at his chin. "Never mind. I'm not sorry."

Clarke covered her eyes with her hands. "Murphy, you done?" Bellamy growls, looking back to Clarke who was clearly uncomfortable. 

"Uh, yeah." He licked his lips before hesitating on turning around. "I just wanted to let you know that Lincoln is taking Echo to the party Friday night." 

"Okay?" Bellamy chuckles. "And? Your point?"

"It's like totally going against our Dude of Honour Legislation. Ex girlfriends, off limits." 

Bellamy rolled his eyes and Clarke got nervous at the sound of Echo's name. "I don't care what she does, man." He shrugged effortlessly. "If Lincoln wants to walk into that open fire and pour gasoline on it then go ahead." He throws his hands up. "But uh, Murphy?" He gestures to Clarke who is trying to hide under the blankets. "Do you mind?" 

Murphy sends a 'thumbs up' and heads out the door. Clarke turns her head to make sure he's gone before sitting up. Her cheeks a bright shade of oh my god. "That was so embarrassing!" Her eyebrows furrow tightly. 

He sits down beside her, wrapping his hand around her wait. Skin bare and chilled. "I don't know..." Bellamy shrugged. "It was pretty hot if you ask me." He leaned in, his lips gracing her neck. "You're so hot when your embarrassed." She pushed him away. 

Her chest rose and fell heavily as she swallowed tightly. "Bellamy, no. Sex doesn't fix everything." 

Bellamy leans in to steal a quick kiss. "No, but it does fix some things. Like how hard you've got me." He wets his lips before leaning in to kiss her gently. 

She stretches to grab her shirt and pull it down along her body. "Bellamy, if all we are gonna be is fuck buddies I don't wanna do this. You make me feel shit and I don't wanna fuck with this territory if you don't feel it too." Clarke's eyes search for something more but it's not there. She literally can't grasp at anything his eyes are saying. Clarke stands and pushes past Bellamy, a feeling tingling in her nose tightly. She knows it to be the feeling before she's about to cry. Her heart hurts, she shouldn't of done this. She shouldn't have ever tried to mess around with Bellamy. This was such a mistake. "I shouldn't of called you to get me." 

"Clarke wait!" He grabs onto his wrist tightly and swings her around to view the water in her eyes. Bellamy is at a loss for words, his lips searching but nothing found. "I-I-I..." he stutters and sounds nearly like a child. 

The room is silent and they wonder if the whole world has silenced as well. It's just them with the moon spinning around their world so effortlessly. "Don't." She pulls away her hand, "forget this happened. Forget any of this happened." 

Bellamy jumps closer to her, cupping the soft skin of her face in his hand and captures her in a tight kiss. One with more vulnerability and passion and promise than any before. "I feel it too." He whispers, rubbing his nose into the side of hers. Their foreheads balancing against each other's. 

Clarke taps her fingers down his chest rhythmically. "Now go learn stuff. I'll be here when you get back." Her teeth indents into her bottom lip, tugging it back before kissing him once again.  

That's how it starts. One kiss and promise of feelings and wondering what's coming next. It was that day that everything changed. It was that day that Clarke felt less lonely and didn't have to wonder if Bellamy was thinking about her too. She knew he was. She knew that when he fell asleep he was dreaming of her lips and not Echo's or any other girls. She knew that the feeling bubbling inside of her stomach was real and accurate and important. It was special and she was scared out of her wits. But it made her feel something and she couldn't complain with it at all. She had for so long, felt numb and scared and had absolutely no will to keep going. But she had it now. And she wasn't going to let go, even if it killed her.


	12. Chapter 12

"Ugh I'm nervous." Clarke huffs uneasily and wraps her arms tightly around Bellamy's neck, leaning up to lay her lips against his tenderly. Her chest presses into his tightly, the black mini dress hugging her perfectly in every single way. "What if they don't like me?" Bellamy was taking Clarke to her first College party. All of his friends were getting together at some girl named Raven's place.  There was sure to be alcohol and ex girlfriends and old one night stands that no one ever wanted to think about. 

Bellamy can't reply, his lips consistently overlapping hers. "If they don't like you, I don't need them in my life." He scoffed kissing her again, putting his hands to her waist and eyeing her up and down. Visually and mentally fucking her right there. Taking off all the clothing and kissing every single square inch of her skin. 

"Good." She whispered. "Because you're all I need." 

Walking into the apartment on the seventh floor which belonged to Raven, Clarke felt nerves bursting through her. There was something about giving the right first impression even if it really didn't matter. Something about walking into her first college party with her boyfriend hugging her hip. Something about knowing she as going to run into his ex. Something about sneaking out and having Octavia think she's at Harper's. Something about all of this was so exhilarating, the feeling of the thrill. The feeling of life had sparked inside her again. Thankfully, it was because of Bellamy. 

"Blake!" Raven wraps her arms around Bellamy, a lazy slur coming from her lips. "And this must be your supermodel girlfriend!" She lets go to grab onto Clarke's hands. "We've heard so much about you." She licks her lips and winks before belting out a laugh. 

Bellamy placed a kiss to Clarke's head, lightly messing with her styled hair but not enough to notice. Although nerves filled her entirely, the warmth of Bellamy calmed her extremely. "There's the man!" Murphy shouts, obviously already hammered. Raven slides in beside him and Wick, placing a kiss delicately to his cheek. "Hey Clarke." He nods and she blushed. Although not necessarily looking to avoid Murphy, she hadn't seen him since he walked in on them. 

Clarke smiled shyly and raised a hand to wave. "Hey." 

"Didn't think you'd actually show." It's like the room splits and Echo emerges with an intoxicated Lincoln following shortly with his hands planted on her hips. Clarke tenses up and she bites back on her tongue. She looks incredible, as usual. Long dark hair with a tight fitted v-neck shirt and a miniskirt. Fishnets carving into her skin. 

Bellamy shrugged and took Clarke's hand, winding his way through. "Guess you thought wrong." He looks so calm but Clarke knows it's hard for him to see her. All decked out with his roommate drooling over her shoulder.

Someone turned the music up and Clarke was thankful as she was passed a vodka cooler. She could read Bellamy easily. He said he was fine, but he wasn't. She knew he had loved Echo, and to get over her wasn't going to be easy. He was strong, but seeing her tonight, Clarke wondered if it was too soon. 

They drank and danced and drank some more. Sweaty bodies filled Raven's apartment. Someone having sex in the bathroom and another couple going at it on the balcony. Clarke was having an alright time, but knowing Bellamy was uncomfortable didn't settle her at all. "We don't have to stay." She reminded, fingers lining along his precise jawline evenly. 

"It looks better if we do." He reminds and she nods in agreement. Clarke hit back a few more drinks, surprisingly in between the nerves was able to hold her limit. 

Murphy pulls out some weed and calls Bellamy over to start rolling. Clarke sits beside him on the couch, one arm wrapped around while the other rested on his forearms. She watched as he ground up the pop and filed it into a single line on the paper, rolling and then licking and repeating the steps several times. Not being able to hold herself back any longer, she pulled the home rolled cigarette from Bellamy's lips and sucked on it herself. Nearly instantaneously she coughs and Bellamy smirks from the side of his mouth. She can feel the lightness flood through her so quickly. Everything seems easier and lighter and nothing really matters. Everything is taken with a grain of salt. She takes several more hits until she's a giggling mess, reaching in Bellamy's groin area. "You should smoke more often." He insists, rolling one last hoot and she collapsed into him. Clarke's lips dragging along his jawline and then his neck and slowly but surely, she's crawling into his lap, sucking on the skin below his Adam's Apple. 

Bellamy passes off the joint and wiggles from beneath Clarke. Leading her behind him, their clammy fingertips linked. After sliding into a bedroom, Bellamy doesn't hesitate to slam Clarke to the door leaving a loud thud. She's already breathing heavy and he messes with the zipper of her dress. The fabric slides from her body as he scoops her up, Clarke's legs linking along Bellamy's hips. 

She sucks on his neck as he unclasps her bra and whips it off, handling her ass as they back away from the door and fumble towards the bed. It's only what they can assume to be Raven's bed room, but that doesn't matter. They're both hot and ready to go. 

Everything in Clarke is throbbing, her heart beating so crazily that she can hardly breathe. She falls back on the bed and unbuttons Bellamy's shirt and jeans while he kisses her chest. Everything is fast and crazy and so phenomenal. She loved this about Bellamy. Loved the way he made her feel everything at once. Like a volcano rupturing inside and spilling over every inch of skin.

~~~

Bellamy sits up, pulling on his jeans and looking over to Clarke with a bright smile. She's got a cute little smirk as she's curled up under the blanket. "Bellamy..." she whispers, reaching for his hand and he sits at the edge of the bed, leaning in to kiss her. 

"What is it babe?" 

"I-I..." she was going to tell Bellamy she loved him. She was going to pour her entire heart out in the space between them. Let them drown in feelings. But instead she shrugs and says quiet. "I'd like another drink." 

Bellamy doesn't even think about her stutter. He stands up and smiles, pulling him after her. "Lets get princess whatever she wants then. After all, she should be rewarded." 

Clarke laughs and slaps his arm, "shut up!" They both finish getting dressed and leave the bedroom, fingers interlocked as they slide through the hallway. Raven spots them and jumps from Murphy's lap.

"Hey you love birds." She shimmies her shoulders and grabs onto Clarke. "Bell... Bellamy!" She mocks with a sex crazed voice, loud enough so a few people look. 

Clarke's cheek turn a bright shade of red and Bellamy wraps his around around her. "Jealous Reyes?" 

"Duh, invite me next time won't you?" She mocks and kisses Bellamy's cheek before dancing off. 

It's like Clarke's body twinges with jealously as she looks up at Bellamy. "Have you guys... ya know." She shrugs suggesting his relationship with Raven. 

"Raven?" He asks and she nods. "Um, yeah. We hooked up a few times in high school, and freshman year of college. Nothing since then though." Bellamy leans down to kiss her quickly and scoop her lips into his. "Doesn't matter anyway, you're the only one I got eyes for." Clarke blushes lightly and looks down towards the ground. Wondering if what he said, if he meant it. If he meant any of this. 

With a druken Bellamy and a sobered up Clarke they mingle for awhile longer. Clarke is lost amongst Bellamy's friends Raven, Anya and an occasional Murphy slipping in to try and get in Raven's pants. She shuts him down though, harshly. "I'm with Wick, Murphy. You missed your chance." 

"Come on, Reyes. You want the Murph. I know you do." He slurs cockily before some girl is dragging him away, her lips curling behind his ears and sexily dragging him away. Clarke belts out a laugh, her stomach jumping and Bellamy comes up from her behind. Kissing the side of her head and wrapping his arms tightly from the other side of the couch. 

Clarke pondered her future for a moment, and what exactly it included. If this was what it would be. She didn't have plans for college, at least, not yet. Her mom wanted her to go to Med School, she knew her heart belonged to art. Either way, would she find herself at Stanford? Would she find herself sharing a dorm with Bellamy, attending stupid parties with drunken classmates? Watching as girls drooled and slurred their way into Bellamy's path. 

Was it crazy she was already dreaming of her future with him? What their dorm would look like and how they would spend their free time together. She imagined sitting at his desk while he slept, the sun rays pushing through the blinds while she sketched him in soft charcoal. His body draped lazily across the bed, blankets fallen around his hips while his cheek sunk into the pillow. That's exactly how it was. Easy. And simple. Dream like. No problems. Just the two of them against whatever came their way. 

 

~~~

It's the Friday of the following week and Bellamy came over for dinner. Kane had mastered spaghetti and meatballs which happened to be one of her favourites. Everything was finally falling into place for Clarke. She had a great relationship with the people around her, and she was happier than she had been in a long time. 

Usually Bellamy spent Friday nights at the bar or someone's house party. His words slurring after one or two many drinks. But tonight, he was with Clarke, sitting beside her and catching small glances while she laughed at something Octavia said. 

"So... daddy?" Octavia clicked her teeth. Kane took a sip of the wine sitting in front of him with an irked eyebrow, knowing something not so good would be coming from this. "I made the cheer team! I'm actually co-captain. The youngest they've had!" 

"Octavia that's incredible!" He seems shocked, but was only doing it for her sake. "I'm so proud of you." He stands, collecting plates and planting a kiss to the top of her head. 

"Yeah um," she hesitated, "there's some bad news too." 

Kane stops in his tracks and sits back down. "Go ahead. I'm listening." 

"Well," she hesitates roughly. "I uh, I failed my art history assignment." And that's when shit gets wild. There is yelling and screaming and Abby is trying to calm Kane down. If there was one thing he wanted his children to carry in life, it was a passing grade. Octavia is crying and fighting when Bellamy grabs onto Clarke's hand, pulling her away from the table. 

"They won't even realize we left." He ensures, picking up plates and glasses while Clarke grabs the silverware. She rolled her eyes and followed Bellamy's lead. 

"I have to edit my essay, did you wanna help?" She asks, looking away while filling the dishwasher. 

Bellamy chuckles which fills her with helium like air. Lifting her off the ground and spinning her around like some kind of glider or hot air balloon. "Don't have to ask me twice." It's true, she didn't. Because being with Clarke in her room meant more Clarke time. He had absolutely no interest in her essay, well, he did. He was interested in her. And only her. 

Clark lied flat on her stomach as she read over her essay on The Civil Rights. Bellamy sat beside her, fingertips dripping along her lower back. Clarke mumbled words that went in one ear and out the other and suddenly he just couldn't help himself. Bellamy laced soft kissed along Clarke's shoulder blade. "What do you think you're doing, mister?" 

Bellamy nuzzled into her neck, sucking on her skin delicately until she turned around to her back. He moved his fingers along her hairline and rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. She was stunning. So stunning that the world stopped when she smiled. With her laugh, everything seemed to fall into place gracefully. Bellamy wondered how someone could be so beautiful, so perfect. So effortlessly wonderful. He wasn't sure, but he also wouldn't change her for anything. He leaned down to place a kitten like kiss to her lips and she smiled under his touch. No matter how many times they kissed, she always craved the next. Each one was like a flower falling into bloom right in the middle of spring. Each movement of their lips like the wave of the ocean, crashing and then settling into place.

Bellamy ran his hand down to her hip as he kissed her tenderly. Clarke's hand rested on top of his as he propped himself up to get to her lips easier. The whole world around them came to halt as he looked up to Clarke's bedroom door, checking on the fact that it was closed. His lips returned to hers urgently as his hand danced under the hem of her shirt, skidding along her skin until cupping her tenderly. 

He wanted to tell her he loved her, because he did. But right now, this moment... it didn't feel right. So instead of using words, he used his lips to tell her all the things he couldn't say. 

"Oh my fucking god!"


	13. Chapter 13

Bellamy's lips crashed against Clarke's, pulling her bottom lip between his. He slipped his tongue and she moaned into his mouth, grabbing at his hip desperate to get him as close as she could. 

"Oh my fucking god!"

Clarke jumped from under Bellamy, pulling her shirt down as he rolled off of her. It wasn't who she would've expected. Her mouth dropped open as Bellamy stood confused, distancing himself from Clarke and the figure in the doorway. 

"F-Finn? What are... what are you doing here?!" Clarke's voice cracks as she stares at a startled Finn, mouth dropped slightly and eyebrows raised. 

"I uh, came to see Octavia. She needed help with an assignment but I thought I'd pass by and say hi. Guess... I guess I shouldn't have." He mumbles clearly indecisively. Clarke grabs her arm and frowns looking from Bellamy to Finn uncomfortably.

The three of them stand in silence for several moments, no one really sure what to say. Finn doesn't know Bellamy but he recognizes him from photos and the odd passing. "This might be a stupid question but does... does Octavia know?" 

"Know...?" Bellamy trails off. He's trying to pretend nothing has happened when it so obviously has and Clarke can't help let out a small pathetic laugh and roll her dimmed eyes. 

"No!" They both blurt, Clarke extending her arms out as if to fix things before they got worse. But it was too late. "She... she can't know." She whispers as her lips curve into a forced smile. "Finn, please." Her teeth crushed against each other's. 

Finn analyzed Bellamy as he crossed his arms. "You wouldn't go out with me but you'd go out with him?" He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Your fucking step brother, Clarke. Way to go." 

"Get out of my fucking room, Finn." She points before forcing herself closer to him. "Just... just get out of my room." Her voice hot with anger as she squints. When she pushes him out, she closes the door and slams her back against the solid wood door. 

Bellamy drags his feet towards her. "Hey, it's okay." He puts his arms out to grab on to her shoulders, rubbing them for comfort. 

"We are so fucking dead, Bellamy." She huffs grabbing at her hair, her heart racing and her forehead sweating. 

"Hey, it's okay." He pulls her in for a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. Clarke calms her breathing and wraps her arms around Bellamy easily. Her fingers meet in the lower part of his back and lock. "We're gonna be fine."

"Who exactly are you trying to convince, Bellamy?" She backs away from his embrace as her eyes bounce from each of his caramel coloured eyes. "Me? Or yourself?" Her throat grew tight as the words crawled from the lips. 

They stand in silence for a minute, looking back at each other. Not sure what to say or do as they frantically look for answers around them. "I love you, Clarke. And I'll be dammed -" 

Everything else that comes out, registers to Clarke only like mush and word salad as she reaches her hands in front of him, hesitantly. "You.... you what?" 

Bellamy retraces what he's said and then continues, repeating himself. "I'll be dammed if I let some high school kid -" 

"No!" Clarke blurts. "The other part. The part... the part where you said you love me...?" She brushes past him, back to her bed and plops down amongst the rough drafts of her essay. 

Bellamy turns around to follow her, but instead keeps his distance. His face turning a light shade of red as he awkwardly slumps his hands into his pockets, looking down towards the hardwood. "Uh.... yeah.... I..." he swallows, looking up to meet Clarke's shinning blue eyes, his fingers reaching up to scratch the back of his now sweaty neck. "I love you, Clarke." As the words stumble off his tongue a smile grows at Clarke's lips. She's felt it too. She's wanted to say it, but she's been much too scared. Bellamy didn't mean to say it, well... he meant to say it. It he didn't expect it to come out in that exact moment. 

She stands and rushes back over to him, grabbing his face in her hands and planting a kiss against his plump lips. "I love you, Bellamy." Clarke backs away but only slightly, lining her fingers along his jaw line and smiling foolishly. "I love you so much, but...." she sighs, loosing hope in herself. 

Bellamy watched her carefully, analyzing the way her eyelashes fluttered down as she looked towards the ground. "But what? What does it matter? I want to be with you, no one else. And if anyone is going to understand that, it would be our parents." 

"Don't be stupid!" Clarke scoffs, walking backwards. "Our parents? You really think they would understand?" She shakes her head, feeling lost. "We never should've done this Bellamy. This was such a stupid idea." Her words sliced him like knives. He just told her he loved her, he opened his heart and now here she is saying it was stupid. She didn't mean it like that, and he knew it. But it still hurt him. 

"It's not stupid, Clarke. How we feel about each other... it's not stupid." Bellamy's voice breaks slightly as he walks after her, falling onto her bed. "You... me... what we have... that's not stupid." 

"Octavia is going to freak." Clarke says frankly.

"Then she's going to freak. This is my life, not hers. This affects you and me." 

She rolls her eyes. "You're my step brother.... this is kind of... fucked up!" 

"You just said you love me, Clarke." He whispers, breaking even more. She had made him so happy. Making him the happiest he had been in awhile. She was real with him, and they had a connection that seemed unbreakable. He wasn't about to let Clarke walk out on that. 

She sits beside him, her heart sinking into her stomach. Her hand gently resting against his shoulder. "Im just...." Clarke lets out a harsh sigh. "I don't know." 

Bellamy glances over to her, moving his hand to her thigh, serving a soft, uneasy smile. He nods as she moves her fingers up his neck, tugging into his curls before brushing her nose against his, leading him into a kiss. "I'll talk to Finn." She whispers, backing away slightly, biting back her bottom lip. 

He kisses her again, more deeply this time. A kiss full of intent and promise. "I'm not gonna give up, or walk away. I'm in this, Clarke." And he goes back to kiss her again, holding her lips against his. He loved everything about her, loved the way her lips felt against his. The way she moved so seamlessly with him. He loved the taste of her. Every kiss so sweet and tender yet always filled with lust and fire. 

He loved her. And he would damned if anyone were to come between him and the masterpiece that was Clarke Griffin. 


End file.
